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thetotalm

Member Since 2004

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Sunday Nov 06, 2005

Nov 6, 2005
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Today can be the first day of the rest of your life if you let it be. Whatever is troubling you, be it bills, love, your own persoanal demons, work or any other thing that may be controlling your life and coming between you and happiness can all be either solved or just "letting go".

In recent weeks, I've quit my job, lost my health, realized that I'm a stip club, and a gambling addict, started to talk to a lawyer about bankruptcy, hired an escort, had my heart crushed and tried to commit suicide by slashing my writst.

All these things happen because I'm pathetic and need to get a grip on reality. There's no miracle cure or any amount of talk therapy that will help you if you don't want to help yourself. The sooner I realize that I have all these demons and that I also have impulse problems. The sooner my life can go back to "normal"

I shouldn't need to be pepped talk every week. I"m a 23 year old man thta should start taking responsibiity for his own actions. When you start to affect your familly you need to stop being selfish and realize that your not helping yourself anymore.

I can take all the prozac and anti-depressents that they give me but if I don't make a conscione decsion to take back my life then I'll never be "cured"

It starts with little things in life, like waking up every morning and saying "what am I going to do to better my life today"

When life gets tough its easy to say I doni't want to live anymore, it's harder to stay upbeat, keep a positve mental attitude and if necessary fight life back.

I've lusted after someone on this site for over a year, but I never really said what I wanted to say. Now she's gone and I don't know if she'll every come back. That's an opportunity that I"ve missed all becuase I was too scared and self-obsorved with my own insecutrites to say anything to her. All I have is an email address that may or may not work anymore. But what I really want to say can't be said in empty email it has to be said in person.

From now on no more missed opportunites, in January, I'm going to go see about getting financial aide to go to CCRI. As far as work I'm going to get a job I actually like insted of just getting a job to get one. When something in my life happens that I feel is shattering no more stressing about wheather or not its fixable, just move on to the next problem and learn from your mistakes. Smile when the day greets you insted of cowering in fear of the next day.

Whatever happens its time to take that leap from slug upon society to someone who has a productive life, even little production for now.

-Anthony Mucci captive to his own mind no more.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
maxi:
there are are some good brunch spots but they are filled to the gills with hipsters and yuppies and babies now,

Actaully each pic takes no more than about 15-30 mins depending how much detail is needed.
Nov 11, 2005
magneticflux:
All around uplifting and enthusiastic entry with some personal realizations that some people never get to in their entire lives, but particularly:

"Anthony Mucci captive to his own mind no more"

This is great, man. biggrin

I need to arrive to that point, though for different reasons than you.

[Edited on Nov 12, 2005 1:27AM]
Nov 11, 2005

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