This is how I look now. Well, a couple of weeks ago. I am down to 202 from my scale at home. I have the IST in a week that I plan on passing. 60+ situps in two minutes, 5+ pull ups (until failure), then mile and a half run...Which last time I did that was at 10:58. I am hoping to shave off 20 maybe thirty seconds.
In less than two months I am going to be leaving my home for good. I don't plan on coming back. I plan to visit and see my family but I'm going to leave this place of comfort, this familiar place, this safe place. I'm going somewhere where all the other men (or young boys) are all faster, stronger and better. I'm throwing all this comfort and familiar things away for what.... I hope to be stronger, to be a better person, to be independent and figuring out who I am outside of family. It all became very real all of a sudden and I am freaking out just a little bit.
All in this mixed with the fact that I am falling in love with my best friend. I confessed and we both decided that it wouldn't work out. She comes from a strict Muslim family and I would only bring frustration with everyone who is close to her. We have set the lines and decided that we will not peruse anything. Thing is when I am with her I am the happiest I have been in a long time. She is happiest as well when she is with me and we spend time together. It's hard to spend time with her now. We play pool and there is nothing more than I would like to take her in my arms to kiss her deeply. It's a struggle every time to not and it makes me feel like the biggest pervert sometimes. Bah....
Everything is becoming way too real really quick and I am freaking out a little bit.
Anyway, want to know what gets me up in the morning to workout everyday. My only output to express my emotions and....!
Musqiue
Glitch Mob - Can't Kill Us
Silversun Pickups - Substitution
Kings of Leon - Revelry
