thescarykid

Okay, okay. So I made a shitty post, as if anybody actually reads anything I type up.

Before getting out one of my friends told me that, when I do get out, give it two weeks and I'll be missing the Army. Well, it's been two months and I am certainly not missing the bullshit... much. Don't get me twisted, folks. My time in was non stop bullshit. I hated it. But, there was definitely something I loved about being in. Maybe the structure, when there was that. Or the times I actually felt like I was in the Army, seeing that most of it was ran by dim witted jack asses that never did anything by the book, then wonder why things didn't work. Was more of a COMMON SENSE issue. I miss the field sometimes, going out and doing shit. Kind of miss the money, too. Last year I was in I was pocketing over 2 grand a month. I'd actually sit at my desk trying to think of shit to buy, couldn't think of anything.

How did all that come up? I'm fucking bored, people. My life has slowed down to a fucking halt. I'm getting stir crazy, cabin fever, whatever. I need to do shit, go somewhere. I need a fucking challenge that after completing, actually feeling a sense of accomplishment in doing something CONSTRUCTIVE in my life.

Grandma is bothering me about rent. Within five days of coming home bugging me about the rent and shit. How about hearing about how much you missed me and thanking God, Buddha, Allah, whoever that I survived six years when our country is fighting two wars. I'm fucking lucky. Oh hey, and where's the rent.

Because of that, I've started looking at getting my own place because I can do what I want and not hear about... bullshit. Oh, and I want a doggie. A boston terrier.

Broke up with my girlfriend monday. And now I'm not sure what kind of relationship we have. I'm having issues with her lying. I just don't trust the girl when she tells me three different stories about the same thing, and this is of just one of many stories. I just don't trust her. Love the girl though. Still trying to figure if a relationship is something I should even be in right now.

It's not that I'm looking to be single so I can sleep with other people. I don't want that. I think I just need more alone time. I thought a year was good but maybe I need more? Maybe I need to actually date more people instead of going straight into a relationship with a girl. I have no idea what to do. Being single my life was easy and relatively simple. usually how I like it.

I don't know. I'm starting to get worried that, I'm just not built for relationships. Doomed to be single forever. I'm pining for a serious relationship, I just don't think I'm good in them. Want one but can't have one. Maybe I haven't found the right person yet? Maybe this one needs more effort? I think this girl is a great girl, and she swears up in down we covered the truth on the weekend, nd she had legitimate reasons for doing certain things, but are they true? I don't know. I just don't have the time or the patience for playing fuck fuck with women. I'm done with playing fuck fuck in general.