theretronerd

i got my right boobie pierced this weekend. i cant tell you how excited i am about it i am, also very proud and pleased with my little self cause i did it all by myeself no hand holding or anything im a big girl now.

on another note, i learned some uncomfortable things about myself, they all make sense but its oncomfortable and i dont quite know how to deal with it. im so used to giving away my energy, and as anyone who knows me can verify, i have ALOT of energy. well, now here i am, no relationship, which is where i usually send a great amount of energy. now there is no place to put all that used to go there and i am left with an overwhelming amount of it. fuck! its almost too much, im going to pop out of myself i think and ive been trying to send some of this energy in inappropriate places. fuck! how to channel it, calm it down so it isnt controlling me. yeah, thats the smiley im feeling these days. urrgh.