Friday Apr 09, 2004

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i woke up with some stupid emo band song in my head wtf???
'this love is takin its toll on me....she said goodbye too many times before...' mad lame! ive seen that video severaltimes in the very early am while im up lifing weights to VH1 insomniac theather. its really stupid, supposed to be supre sexy and its this pasty skinny white boy, i mean no offense to the skinny white boys, ive loved a few of them myself but its NOT making for good erotic film. anyway who cares. ive been drinking again. what a naughty gilr. i had some beers last night. twas cool but now im tired so ill save the gym for this aftrenoon. its a paid holiday at work but what am i gonna do? go to work. why? cause i hate being at home these days and if i leave myself with much free time i just get overwhelmed with pain soooo escape to the office. i suppose its better that the days i would escape into white powder land or various other self destructive behaviors. does make me feel like a huge lame ass though. have any of you suddenly just realized you were really disappointed with you life? i mean just sort of looked around one day and said "Fuck! this isnt how i thought it was gonna turn out at all..." yeah, well thats me thses days. miao!!
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
welntaod:
Jealous at you and everyone else it seemed having Good Friday off. tongue Work for me on or around holidays is always immeasurably taxing. I'm forced to explain lame family drama to a group of people who weren't born equiped to understand petty rivalry, bad blood & why relatives aren't there to hang out. whatever Come on Monday & Tuesday off!
banshee1:
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I hate the line of work I'm in and my second marriage isn't going well at all. People tell me how lucky I am to have such a good job and great husband. I just don't see it that way. Some days I feel so trapped, like there's only one way out. And my exhusband, who I love very much, asks me all the time to move back to CA to be with him. My best friend made me promise the other day that I would talk to somebody (therapy). I don't know.

Anyway thanks for giving me an avenue to vent.

take care,
-holley

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