theretronerd

i woke up with some stupid emo band song in my head wtf???
'this love is takin its toll on me....she said goodbye too many times before...' lame! ive seen that video severaltimes in the very early am while im up lifing weights to VH1 insomniac theather. its really stupid, supposed to be supre sexy and its this pasty skinny white boy, i mean no offense to the skinny white boys, ive loved a few of them myself but its NOT making for good erotic film. anyway who cares. ive been drinking again. what a naughty gilr. i had some beers last night. twas cool but now im tired so ill save the gym for this aftrenoon. its a paid holiday at work but what am i gonna do? go to work. why? cause i hate being at home these days and if i leave myself with much free time i just get overwhelmed with pain soooo escape to the office. i suppose its better that the days i would escape into white powder land or various other self destructive behaviors. does make me feel like a huge lame ass though. have any of you suddenly just realized you were really disappointed with you life? i mean just sort of looked around one day and said "Fuck! this isnt how i thought it was gonna turn out at all..." yeah, well thats me thses days.