I was in weavers basement after a LAN party. Randazle and I had smoked this shit quality meth and were there hanging out as everyone else was sleep. Anyway, I remember listening to The Get up Kids cover of Alec Eiffel while listening to that song I realized what I wanted to do with my life namely I wanted to cook Meth. This was six or more years ago I was at the height of usage then.
I was reflecting on this as it thought about writing an entry about my goals. The desire for the unbounded hedonism that would inevitably follow from my successful cooking of methamphetamine has never really left me even if it has vastly been lessoned. In spite of that or maybe because of that my goals have changed time and time again. So I wanted to take some time to talk about a few of them. I am sure I could fill pages and pages with my goals, the reasoning behind them, the value they have, and so on, but I think a few for now is best just to get me to write something anything down.
It is very hard, for me, not to try to sound more virtuous or noble when expressing the reasons for any particular goal. It is also hard not to sound more epic about the struggle in obtaining these things. I will attempt to be as realistic as I can while still expressing myself properly. I would like you to bear in mind that in less than four months I will be twenty seven years old this should help to keep these things in a proper light. So here we go:
BE IN VERY GOOD SHAPE
My best weight I have been in since high school has been 350lbs after a month of barely eating while doing excessive amount of speed. As of two Fridays ago (01-15-2010) I was weighed in at 450lbs. I am sure I could have weighed around thirty pounds more in the peak of my obesity but I was only weighed as 460lbs as my top weight. I am strong, flexible, and have a better cardiovascular system then most people who are my size for as long as I have been.
This is tragic. There is really no way to say it. I am wasting some of the best years of my life being so fucking fat that I run risk of crippling myself if I run on asphalt. Lets face it I have until my mid thirties before I start the inevitable decline of my physical being. Mind you its slow at first but its a fact. People of my size have an average life expectancy of thirty three in this country.
I stopped caring about this I will finish it in the next entry whenever I can care about it again. This is frustrating
I was reflecting on this as it thought about writing an entry about my goals. The desire for the unbounded hedonism that would inevitably follow from my successful cooking of methamphetamine has never really left me even if it has vastly been lessoned. In spite of that or maybe because of that my goals have changed time and time again. So I wanted to take some time to talk about a few of them. I am sure I could fill pages and pages with my goals, the reasoning behind them, the value they have, and so on, but I think a few for now is best just to get me to write something anything down.
It is very hard, for me, not to try to sound more virtuous or noble when expressing the reasons for any particular goal. It is also hard not to sound more epic about the struggle in obtaining these things. I will attempt to be as realistic as I can while still expressing myself properly. I would like you to bear in mind that in less than four months I will be twenty seven years old this should help to keep these things in a proper light. So here we go:
BE IN VERY GOOD SHAPE
My best weight I have been in since high school has been 350lbs after a month of barely eating while doing excessive amount of speed. As of two Fridays ago (01-15-2010) I was weighed in at 450lbs. I am sure I could have weighed around thirty pounds more in the peak of my obesity but I was only weighed as 460lbs as my top weight. I am strong, flexible, and have a better cardiovascular system then most people who are my size for as long as I have been.
This is tragic. There is really no way to say it. I am wasting some of the best years of my life being so fucking fat that I run risk of crippling myself if I run on asphalt. Lets face it I have until my mid thirties before I start the inevitable decline of my physical being. Mind you its slow at first but its a fact. People of my size have an average life expectancy of thirty three in this country.
I stopped caring about this I will finish it in the next entry whenever I can care about it again. This is frustrating