So, everyone remember that part of Lord of the Rings when they come onto the Balrog and it just lets out that scream that is beyond any mortal sound?
Yeah, that's what I feel like doing right now!!!! If I had any fucking hair on my head, it would be laying in bloody clumps on the floor right now!
I am such a weak, weak little man.
So I call her up, fully intended to end it, and we bullshit for a little while, and she is so obviously pissed, and I say "I'm sorry" and then it starts. No, she's sorry and was a bitch, and now I'm going about me being an asshole and neglecting her and....and....AGH!!!!!
I loathe myself for feeling this passion for her. I really, truly do. The fact that I know it is short lived doesn't help, but I was raised by very unemotional people to be an very unemotional person ("Never let your emotions control you" I was always taught). So when they do, I have a minor seizure.
Any ways, she's going to call me back tonight. I fully expect tears, but I do not know from whom. I better not get shit face drunk, per my previous plan, or they may be mine own. No, they won't - I've cried like five times in my life, and I doubt she'll be number six. Hell, I didn't even cry when my Grandmother, my most beloved woman, died. That kind of made me feel like an asshole, but the pain was there - it just manifested itself in heavy drinking (God bless wine).
Well, I need to set up some appointments and whatnot. Wonder how long I can make it tonight before I break down and buy a pack of cigarettes? I finished my pack just before dawn, but have since smoked half of my cousin's pack (hmmmm....mentholly flavor
).
Wonder what I'll eat for dinner tonight? Figure I'll go shopping after stopping by my favorite tenant's house, whom I was fully planning on putting the moves on before I talked to that girl. Now the outlook is hazy...
Yeah, that's what I feel like doing right now!!!! If I had any fucking hair on my head, it would be laying in bloody clumps on the floor right now!
I am such a weak, weak little man.
So I call her up, fully intended to end it, and we bullshit for a little while, and she is so obviously pissed, and I say "I'm sorry" and then it starts. No, she's sorry and was a bitch, and now I'm going about me being an asshole and neglecting her and....and....AGH!!!!!
I loathe myself for feeling this passion for her. I really, truly do. The fact that I know it is short lived doesn't help, but I was raised by very unemotional people to be an very unemotional person ("Never let your emotions control you" I was always taught). So when they do, I have a minor seizure.
Any ways, she's going to call me back tonight. I fully expect tears, but I do not know from whom. I better not get shit face drunk, per my previous plan, or they may be mine own. No, they won't - I've cried like five times in my life, and I doubt she'll be number six. Hell, I didn't even cry when my Grandmother, my most beloved woman, died. That kind of made me feel like an asshole, but the pain was there - it just manifested itself in heavy drinking (God bless wine).
Well, I need to set up some appointments and whatnot. Wonder how long I can make it tonight before I break down and buy a pack of cigarettes? I finished my pack just before dawn, but have since smoked half of my cousin's pack (hmmmm....mentholly flavor
).
Wonder what I'll eat for dinner tonight? Figure I'll go shopping after stopping by my favorite tenant's house, whom I was fully planning on putting the moves on before I talked to that girl. Now the outlook is hazy...