therealtexasguy

Well, she wrote me an email last night. Something about why was I pissed at her and whatnot. I wrote back some long, stupid letter about why I hate myself when I get like that and all this shit. I get a feeling it's kind of over between us. No worries; I expected as much. I've never been truly happy in my life, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking entertaining the thought that I'd suddenly be happy now. Still, it was worth it while it lasted.

I can't fucking believe I woke up before ten o' clock today. It's probably because I have to finish up my monthly report for work. I should have done it last night, but I was in too much of a daze. Not much better today, but I can't put it off any longer as it was technically due yesterday.

God, my back is still killing me. I tried a heat pad last night, but they always make me a little queasy. I guess that much heat (I crank them all the way up or they don't really do much) that close to my stomach didn't agree with my cheddar cheese sandwich and stomachful of Dr. Pepper.

I need some time off, not just from work, but from everything. Looks like I've dropped all but one of my classes. Christ, what a waste of money and time to take four classes and end up dropping three of them halfway through the semester. On top of that, I waited too long, so they'll all be zeroes on my GPA for the semester. Fuck it. My last two semesters I was on the Dean's List, so when I apply to a four year I'll just explain that this semester I not only took over a business, but lost a number of family members; hardship and all.

God Bless Camel cigarettes. They've always been there for me when I needed them the most.