therealtexasguy

That's what Raoul_Duke wrote in my last journal entry. A-fucking-men, brother.

Proof Positive that Bush is a war criminal

Today was a good day.

I made a sort of peace with my cousin, the one I fired and hadn't talked to since. I also very likely rented a place. Which is kick ass, cause that means I'm down to one to rent. Holy fuck, I thought this would never get so close to done (of course, I am likely going to have to evict a guy who's suing us because he's not paying his rent). I also fucked up my pinky finger real bad...that sucks, it's one of my favorites.

Also, many of you may remember my nameless tenant who I have the high school crush on, the one who's chemistry is awesome? Well, I stopped by real quick to pick up her rent check and didn't leave for almost three hours. Three hours we spent sitting outside smoking cigarettes (i know, I quit...) just talking and talking and talking. I hate this girl for what she does to me. If she hadn't been my tenant, and if she hadn't had a couple kids running all over the house (we were on the porch) we'd have ended up fucking like wild animals in the living room. It's not so much a sexual thing, as it is something more like magnetism. I just want to be near her, she makes me feel good. And not by what she says or does or doesn't say, it's just something about her spirit and her very bitchy, abrasive personality that I can't get over. Why does she have to be my fucking tenant? Not only that, but her sister and her mother are also my tenants, so that's thrice the reason not to tamper with the forbidden fruit.

Mostly we talked about childhood and how unfair the world is. How we work so hard for everything we have, and then people like her sister do absolutely nothing and get off scott free. The city pays most of her rent, her aunt pays the rest, and she has four kids who she neglects and pawns off on everyone else so she can go fuck her boyfriend who is eleven years younger then her (he's barely seventeen).

I mentioned to her how sad it makes me, how I want to cry when I think about it, that so many kids are growing up in as abusive and neglectful and hateful environments as people like her and I did. Why do children have to suffer like that? What could a ten year old have possibly done to deserve such a living hell? How could people be so wrong to their own children?

Thoughts like that fill me with such despair it's painful, but then all I need to do is see a child in the gas station smile when he gets a candy bar, or a baby giggling when you tickle it's foot, and I realize that there's hope yet. So long as our shitty, evil species keeps procreating and having children, it'll be worth it in the long run. Of course, I would be the last to cry if our race destroyed ourselves. I am terrified of the thought of what we will do when we finally take to space as conquestors and force our beliefs and our morales onto other races that want nothing to do with it. Don't fool yourself; the day we find another race is the dawn of the end for us. We can't even get along with ourselves. Since the beginning of mankind we have fought wars and enabled genocide. I think the best thing for everyone in the universe would be for our race to be marooned on this planet; that we could finally murder ourselves off with our own devices (i.e. war, pollution, poverty, hate, et cetera). Because, for every happy child I see, I still wonder if we can survive our own humanity.