thepromdate

this morning i got an email from my best friend. the subject was "grandma". my heart dropped, because i thought that maybe she had...passed away. it turns out she's doing ok, but had major surgery the other day. some really shitty stuff has been happening to her and she today she mentioned that she sometimes doesn't know how to handle it.

sometimes i wonder...how much crap can a person deal with before it gets to be too much? a few months ago i was in a really really bad place. my mom and a good friend were the only people who knew. and my mom only knew half of it. i knew i was in a really bad place, i just didn't know how to make myself better. i didn't know how to deal with some of things that were happening. it got to the point where i just didn't think about it, because i couldn't. sometimes i think that all of the shit i've gone through so far means that i will live a happy, healthy, safe life when i'm older.

i like to think that's what will happen anyways.