thepromdate

with the encouragement of friends and against my better judgement, i asked him what he was doing after the show. he said he was going back to his friends house to crash there. granted, he did invite me to come with them. perhaps i wasn't clear in my proposition? maybe i should have grabbed his crotch or gave him a little tap on the ass while i said it. it's not that big of a deal, i mean it was his best friend's birthday, i really didn't think he'd say yes. i justed wanted him to, that's all. a while back when i told my friend that i didn't think he liked me, which i thought was a shame because the sex was good, she said keep him around for the boardgames and sex, but don't think about him. it seems i can't even get sex or a game of battleship out of this. booo hooo.

and because you asked....i hate taking the pill. it makes me want to vomit everytime. does anyone else have this problem? next time i go to the clinic i'm gonna be all like, "can i get a shot in the ass, puuulease?"

but back to being rejected...how is the best way to get a boy to come home with you? i was told that if you look at them and say "you're coming home with me, " that they'll follow. and this has worked with him in the past, much to my amusement. i didn't feel like using it last night, well...because it's been a while with him and i was sort of feeling slutty about asking him anyways. which, i guess there wasn't anything to feel slutty about. he's someone i know and have been with before. and i shouldn't feel slutty anyways. screw that.

oh, and gin is dutch courage. vodka is promdate courage. and it's left this gross ball of upsetting fury in my tummy. and it won't go away. which only furthers my desire to stop drinking. i hate feeling like shit. i hate doing things that will slightly bruise my little heart (boo hoo) and screw with my ego. yes, i was a bit insulted by it. but, whatever. it really doesn't matter anymore. i doubt he even remembers it, cause i think he was drinking too much. but it does make me feel lame. but he has some of my cds, so i have to see him sometime. but again, it's not that big of deal. my stomach hurts more than anything.

which leads me to, that last night i felt like i was going to be sick. you know how that is...either you fall right to sleep or you're sick. well, i was freaking neither and it sucked ass. i was in sort of a limbo state where i felt like being sick but it wasn't happening. oh, who gives a crap anyways. more boo hoo.

oh, and....i don't know. i just felt like writing. i feel like taking a nap (shhh, i know it's ten in the morning, give me a god damn break) and then getting up and going for a walk on the beach.