So a late night of Casios and thinking, which always happens after I see Lisa. And reading annajoy's journal yesterday contributed to it quite a bit. I don't really feel like I'm in a rut, but I'm going to have to make some changes soon. Like finishing school, for starters. I guess I've been in sort of a holding pattern since the summer and it's time to make some decisions. And that's where it gets scary, for a number of reasons...
Yesterday I also got an email from an ex-girlfriend I haven't seen or spoken to in about 6 years. That brought back waves of flashbacks about what I was like then and how I've changed, but disturbingly I also realized how many things were the same. Some were good things, but most weren't. Getting scared now because I have no idea how to change them, or if I ever will. Getting scared about being scared. I think I'm going to have to spend the weekend going through the events of the past 10 years bit by bit, examining what went wrong/right and what the hell I was thinking at the time. We'll see how it goes....
On a brighter note, I got out of work early today because someone pulled a fire alarm! Lucky Me!
SONG OF THE DAY: I Could Be Dreaming Belle & Sebastian
Yesterday I also got an email from an ex-girlfriend I haven't seen or spoken to in about 6 years. That brought back waves of flashbacks about what I was like then and how I've changed, but disturbingly I also realized how many things were the same. Some were good things, but most weren't. Getting scared now because I have no idea how to change them, or if I ever will. Getting scared about being scared. I think I'm going to have to spend the weekend going through the events of the past 10 years bit by bit, examining what went wrong/right and what the hell I was thinking at the time. We'll see how it goes....
On a brighter note, I got out of work early today because someone pulled a fire alarm! Lucky Me!
SONG OF THE DAY: I Could Be Dreaming Belle & Sebastian
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[Edited on Jan 18, 2004 7:54PM]