thepantychrist

Highlights of the evening:
1)A drunk vato offering to pimp me out, and me getting so enraged I actually scared him out of the store.
2) Seeing two midgets.
3)In relation to # 2, pissing in a urinal next to Wee Man from Jackass at the ritz, and noticing I had a bigger dick.
that is all.

Ah. The banquet of poor person food.
My purse strings are tight right now, so oatmeal with jelly, or ramen and hot dogs seem to be the gourmet de rigur.
Oh, for this month to end so I can get back to the spend spend spend.
I need a better job.
anybody need a pet human?

You know those near misses? Those ones where you cheat death and/or disaster?
Yeah.
That's the stuff.
I feel like that dude in the omen, only if he'd ducked before the sheet of glass took his noggin off.

Ass & Money may play a Friday the 13th show.
Now if I can find dancers to dress up like the twin towers and shimmy, The Okay...
Read More

All things are based on the pendulum, right?
Things swing forward then backward and then forward again.
The wheel of fortune, Oroborous, sideways eights and those little ball clackers you see in bankers offices.
Today started out well enough... but you take the little things into consideration.
My mexican bottle of pepsi had mexican mold on the bottle. One of my good friends possibly lost...
Read More

Horray for the year of the Monkey!

Panic's Italian Trailer Park Sandwich:
One can of Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and meatballs
Two slices white bread

Heat spaghetti. Place between sliced bread. Serve with chilled Lonestar Tallboy.

Bon appetit!

today was a good day.

God I love riding the bike.
35 degrees, hacking up a lung, burning like a furnace on the way to work.
Speaking of, I've developed a strange raport with some of the regular customers. Bob the old dude brought me a sandwich. Jimmy Carter and his gold teeth.
Even better are the drunks I can be completely billigerent to and the local porn activist girls...
Read More

So. SG burlesque.
Let me begin by explaining that I am only five foot five. in an outdoor venue where every one is standing and a good portion of the audience is wearing platform boots, this results in me
1: not seeing shit.
And 2: Generally not caring about what's going on.

With this said, Emo's was packed. Actually the most crowded I've seen it...
Read More

It rained on the walk home.
I got wet.
That is all.

Hot wind, angry sun. Wet streets, heavy skies. Texas in January is as schizophrenic as a (insert metaphor).
Does anyone remember the milkjug stunt Houdini pulled?
He was locked inside a milkjug, chained and shackled, and then the thing was filled with water.
(he managed to get out, by the way)
I bring this up because I think it describes my current state rather well....
Read More

my jaw feels ground to glass. I've been so tense lately, I catch myself grinding my teeth almost painfully hard, so I stop, only to find myself doing it again half a minute later.
And even when I go out to relax, I find I'm in a real asshole mood. But that's okay, 'cause my friends are assholes too. But between spitting half chewed tacos...
Read More