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theonlyfeeling

Goodtimes, USA aka Chandler, Arizona

Member Since 2003

Followers 98 Following 132

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Tuesday Apr 15, 2003

Apr 15, 2003
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I got a livejournal, cause Im hip, So ill be posting my LJ entries here as well....

Im terribly sick today, it came on full force last night, my skin hurts, I ache all over, Im coughing up... stuff, Im not feeling too hot.

Last night I had a vision, not a dream, because i was wide awake. This vison was of my death I think, or the vents leading up to the minute of my death, I was in an alley or behind a building of some kind, Im not sure hwat had happened but I think Ive been shot, through my leg, Im sitting on the ground, or on something very near the ground, my legsa outstreched in from of me. My right leg has an entry and exit wound, and Im certain a very important artery has been severed, Im looking down at my leg as blood runs freely from it, I know that Im going to die. I stare at my leg in horror and in me head I think that I need to detach myself from this injury and drag myself away from it. I dont have modular limbs so thats not an option. I think there are people nearby, but I feel no ones is going to help me, so I sit quietly and fear my impending death. I was sick with dread.

At the time that I had this vision I was reading my cerebus books, Cerebus is a comic, Dave Sim, its creator, has been producing and publishing the book for as long as Ive been alive. Its meant to be a 300 issues series that will end with the main Characters death. Once the main character was told by something very big that he would die "alone, unmourned, and unloved" Those three words have been repeated several times throughout the story, and the way things are going, it looks like thats very much going to happen. Ive been rading this book since I was about 12 years old. FOr he past 11 years, every month, I read a little more about Cerebus, Its really a magnificent story, Ive seen events and traits that very much mirrored my own experiences. For 11 years Dave Sim has provided a singular artistic vision without breaks that very much spoke to me, and last night as I reread the phrase "alone, unmourned, and unloved" I got goddamn scared.

Issue 287 or so came out last week, Were entering the last year of Cerebus. In less than a year, Im going to stop doing something Ive done for as long as I care to remember, and after that Ill no longer have access to this singular artistic vision. While I dont imagine it will be a large one, I do belive it will definitely be a noticeable hole in my routine.

"Alone, unmourned and unloved"

Isnt it silly how funnybooks can affect a person...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
neon_vomit:
Well keep your fingers crossed that a set of mine gets accepted and you'll be seeing me soon!
May 18, 2004
alidora:
Hey there! Thanks for the email. I haven't had internet for a couple weeks, now. Sorry i wasn't able to get back to you sooner.
Tucson was amazing and I wish I were there still. But, i have to finish up my last year of school here in IL.
How do you like Chandler? I'm thinking about trying to move out that way (aka Phoenix area) when I graduate...
best,
Alidora
Aug 27, 2005

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