Sex Rhymes:
I do love sex rhymes in hip hop. Yeah they're sexist & yeah lots of humourless people find them offensive but fucking hell man they're pure fucking comedy! Boy do i miss 'em! Nowadays it seems only Necro & his cronies are running that shit. Where did all the cool sex rhymes go??!!!
Ice T used to do one on each album, NWA did some real filthy shit on b-sides, the 2 Live Crew did whole albums of that shit, i have a great one by The High & Mighty (plus guests) about wanking, but my all time favourite?
Take it away Kool G Rap....
For all the ladies 195 pounds of beef,
Chinky eyes, curly hair & gold teeth,
Swingin' with this here stud you need practice,
I'm leaving floods of blood on ya mattress,
(don't know the next two lines sorry!)
Don't ask me what the price is,
But it's more than ya battery operated devices,
And i come fully equipped,
With a temperature adjustment to heat up the tip,
For demonstrations watch me slam her,
Ya hear the sound? I'm steady poundin' like a jackhammer,
Once ordered you can't cop out,
I'm poundin' ya down until ya eyeballs pop out,
I'm not your ordinary player,
Because you'll leave in a wheelchair dear after i lay ya,
Get a grip on ya headboard, now hold onto it,
Or get sent right through it,
Bite yer nipples when i lick 'em,
Not gentle when i stick 'em, huh i leave 'em looking like a rape victim,
Any girl that steps to it,
Ends up getting their stomach pumped like Rod Stewart,
I do a damn good job,
That's why..chicks are on my dick like a human shish-kebab,
Only 19 & over permitted,
No matter how much young girls wanna be with it,
You ain't ready for the best,
You still got a pussy like Isaac Hayes' head,
Come back in 5 years,
When you've grown some hairs
And when you've started drinking beers,
I'm hittin' hookers by the dozen,
Makin' ya wetter 'cos i fuck better than ya husband,
Givin' ya girl back spasms,
'Cos G-Rap has 'em orgasm after orgasm,
Change the sheets you must be kiddin',
You gotta change the whole box-spring i ain't bullshittin',
You get hit with hysteria,
'Cos i'ma bury a big one inside ya private area,
All hell is in ya tush,
When Kool G Rap push pushes inside ya bush,
Another homegirl flinches,
But i got inches for all ya little wenches,
The letter G is better when it comes to letter x,
And i'ma talk like sex.
From 'Talk Like Sex' by Kool G Rap. Fucking brilliant
In other news....i've added a new folder of pics if anyone's interested (shit i doodled at work). It'll kill 2 minutes of your time if you're really bored....
I do love sex rhymes in hip hop. Yeah they're sexist & yeah lots of humourless people find them offensive but fucking hell man they're pure fucking comedy! Boy do i miss 'em! Nowadays it seems only Necro & his cronies are running that shit. Where did all the cool sex rhymes go??!!!
Ice T used to do one on each album, NWA did some real filthy shit on b-sides, the 2 Live Crew did whole albums of that shit, i have a great one by The High & Mighty (plus guests) about wanking, but my all time favourite?
Take it away Kool G Rap....
For all the ladies 195 pounds of beef,
Chinky eyes, curly hair & gold teeth,
Swingin' with this here stud you need practice,
I'm leaving floods of blood on ya mattress,
(don't know the next two lines sorry!)
Don't ask me what the price is,
But it's more than ya battery operated devices,
And i come fully equipped,
With a temperature adjustment to heat up the tip,
For demonstrations watch me slam her,
Ya hear the sound? I'm steady poundin' like a jackhammer,
Once ordered you can't cop out,
I'm poundin' ya down until ya eyeballs pop out,
I'm not your ordinary player,
Because you'll leave in a wheelchair dear after i lay ya,
Get a grip on ya headboard, now hold onto it,
Or get sent right through it,
Bite yer nipples when i lick 'em,
Not gentle when i stick 'em, huh i leave 'em looking like a rape victim,
Any girl that steps to it,
Ends up getting their stomach pumped like Rod Stewart,
I do a damn good job,
That's why..chicks are on my dick like a human shish-kebab,
Only 19 & over permitted,
No matter how much young girls wanna be with it,
You ain't ready for the best,
You still got a pussy like Isaac Hayes' head,
Come back in 5 years,
When you've grown some hairs
And when you've started drinking beers,
I'm hittin' hookers by the dozen,
Makin' ya wetter 'cos i fuck better than ya husband,
Givin' ya girl back spasms,
'Cos G-Rap has 'em orgasm after orgasm,
Change the sheets you must be kiddin',
You gotta change the whole box-spring i ain't bullshittin',
You get hit with hysteria,
'Cos i'ma bury a big one inside ya private area,
All hell is in ya tush,
When Kool G Rap push pushes inside ya bush,
Another homegirl flinches,
But i got inches for all ya little wenches,
The letter G is better when it comes to letter x,
And i'ma talk like sex.
From 'Talk Like Sex' by Kool G Rap. Fucking brilliant
In other news....i've added a new folder of pics if anyone's interested (shit i doodled at work). It'll kill 2 minutes of your time if you're really bored....
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
This is more like it!
[Edited on Apr 10, 2006 7:26PM]