Fuuuuuck. I am fucked UP. I can't even believe I am typing. Actually, when I'm high it seems I become a bettter typist...well, I'll wait to comment on that until I read this tomorrow and see all the typos.
So, anyway. I was really sick earlier...too much booze/weed last night. Plus, I haven't slept in two days.
I'm having such a hard time sleeping lately. It was so good for a few months, I could sleep all night and feel so good the next morning. Maybe it was that quadrupled dose of hydrocodone I was on for a month straight.
Anyway, now I don't fall asleep till after midnight, and I wake up around 3am and can't get back to sleep. Even when I take an assload of Ambien I still have a tough time falling asleep....all that stuff really makes me do is trip the fuck out. It really blows, because I am still super tired...I just have so much on my mind right now and it is really getting to me. I have so much to worry about, it's like I sit there and make a list of all the things that are fucked up right now, and I go crazy obsessing about them. God.
Okay, this is turning into Emo Fest 2004. I really hate bitching, but I'm high and this is what I want to do right now. So, fuck you. I have no job, no health insurance, no car insurance, going to be losing the car soon because my asshole of an ex-bf is taking it back...admittedly, he IS paying the payment, but FUCK THAT, I need a fucking car! I have no money, and I am going insane. There is also some other stuff going on that I won't go into. At least I have Bruce...he is my saving grace. I love him so much it's really scary to even think about. Damn.
So, anyway....sorry 'bout the pitty party.
So, anyway. I was really sick earlier...too much booze/weed last night. Plus, I haven't slept in two days.
I'm having such a hard time sleeping lately. It was so good for a few months, I could sleep all night and feel so good the next morning. Maybe it was that quadrupled dose of hydrocodone I was on for a month straight.
Anyway, now I don't fall asleep till after midnight, and I wake up around 3am and can't get back to sleep. Even when I take an assload of Ambien I still have a tough time falling asleep....all that stuff really makes me do is trip the fuck out. It really blows, because I am still super tired...I just have so much on my mind right now and it is really getting to me. I have so much to worry about, it's like I sit there and make a list of all the things that are fucked up right now, and I go crazy obsessing about them. God.
Okay, this is turning into Emo Fest 2004. I really hate bitching, but I'm high and this is what I want to do right now. So, fuck you. I have no job, no health insurance, no car insurance, going to be losing the car soon because my asshole of an ex-bf is taking it back...admittedly, he IS paying the payment, but FUCK THAT, I need a fucking car! I have no money, and I am going insane. There is also some other stuff going on that I won't go into. At least I have Bruce...he is my saving grace. I love him so much it's really scary to even think about. Damn.
So, anyway....sorry 'bout the pitty party.
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woo hydrocodone is serious stuff... I have to take pain killers for migraines and if I have too much over a few days it mucks me up completely for weeks sleepwise - go figure - and that stuff is well nastier than my pain killers