Hi everyone,
Just realised I've been on here about a month and haven't even introduced myself properly yet. Some of you will know a few things about me, others won't know much at all about me. Here goes...
My name's Richard, I'm 31 and I'm originally from Alderney, but we moved to Shetland when I was 5. After some childhood operations (which I won't bore you with), I found out I was infertile when I was 17. I went to college in Edinburgh after finishing High School, but that was only because my parents expected me to. I didn't really want to do it myself, so I kinda flunked out and made the most of having a year on the mainland.
I've had 3 girlfriends: 1st ended because she was going to college in Aberdeen and I didn't want her to make a mess of her education the way I did. 2nd ended because she wanted kids, and I can't make them, so it seemed only fair to let her go and have them. (Both exes now have kids, which is a bit depressing, but I'm glad they're happy and they got what they wanted.)
I went through a kind of depression after the 2nd relationship failed and I felt that because I couldn't have kids I was utterly useless to women. After re-evaluating my situation and looking back at some of my teenage lifestyle choices I decided to explore other avenues, as I'd always been intrigued about men. So I went with a few guys, not all the way, just far enough to know what spunk tastes like. As much as I enjoyed that, I prefer women, so I put myself back on the market for women as it were, though I still like to look at guys too and I can appreciate a nice big cock when I see one.
3rd girlfriend is now my lovely wife. She wanted kids too, so we looked into IVF, and I went for a sperm retrieval operation. It ended up being a far more invasive procedure than they'd intended, due to my childhood operations. The operation was a failure, so I officially can't make babies, ever. Worst of all, I had a benign cyst which was aggravated by the operation and now causes me chronic pain more often than not.
Surgeons say they can't remove it as there's too much risk of doing more damage that would leave me in constant pain. The only thing that seems to ease the pain is accupuncture, but I can't get that too often as there's only one local doctor who practices it.
The wife says she's happy just to have me, but I can see she's hurting some of the time, especially around Mother's Day, and I can't help but feel that it's my fault.
Even worse is that sex hurts, literally, I'm in agony for a week after sex. Masturbation seems to be ok, so not sure what's going on there. Perhaps it's nature's way of telling me that I shouldn't be having sex since I can't have kids.
I worked at a local supermarket for 7 years and that's where I met my wife, we were checkout supervisors together.
I'm currently working as practice manager in a local optician's (I'm basically a glorified receptionist), I've been in that job for 5 years now and I'm getting a bit restless.
I'm doing a degree through the Open University in the hope of getting a better job, but I'm only on my 1st year, still 5 years to go after this, as I'm doing it part-time.
I'm normally quite a shy guy who never knows what to say, which annoys the wife a bit, but that's just the way I am. I've always been better at writing how I feel about things than talking about my feelings.
I joined this community a month ago, as I've always been a bit of a pervert, unfortunately the wife is more reseved than I am and she'd probably kill me if she knew I was on here.
Thanks to the kind advice and support from friends on this community I'm finally happy to be my true self - a shy guy with an exhibitionist streak!
That's about all you need to know about me, some parts might have been a bit oversharing, but I felt the need to include everything that's made me the man I am today.
It's been pretty quiet at work today, the only real excitement was on my lunchbreak. I got a nasty shock when I discovered -3 bites into my cheeseburger - that it wasn't a cheeseburger. It was a chilli burger! It was a bit too hot for me to handle, so I had to take it back and get the cheeseburger I'd originally ordered.
I've always been wary about complaining about food, because the food servers have the power and they could add a little something you wouldn't want. Thankfully that didn't happen to me today.
That's about all for today, thanks to those who follow my daily musings and I hope my long-winded back-story hasn't put you all to sleep. I'll close this blog with the usual nerd humour pics.
Just realised I've been on here about a month and haven't even introduced myself properly yet. Some of you will know a few things about me, others won't know much at all about me. Here goes...
My name's Richard, I'm 31 and I'm originally from Alderney, but we moved to Shetland when I was 5. After some childhood operations (which I won't bore you with), I found out I was infertile when I was 17. I went to college in Edinburgh after finishing High School, but that was only because my parents expected me to. I didn't really want to do it myself, so I kinda flunked out and made the most of having a year on the mainland.
I've had 3 girlfriends: 1st ended because she was going to college in Aberdeen and I didn't want her to make a mess of her education the way I did. 2nd ended because she wanted kids, and I can't make them, so it seemed only fair to let her go and have them. (Both exes now have kids, which is a bit depressing, but I'm glad they're happy and they got what they wanted.)
I went through a kind of depression after the 2nd relationship failed and I felt that because I couldn't have kids I was utterly useless to women. After re-evaluating my situation and looking back at some of my teenage lifestyle choices I decided to explore other avenues, as I'd always been intrigued about men. So I went with a few guys, not all the way, just far enough to know what spunk tastes like. As much as I enjoyed that, I prefer women, so I put myself back on the market for women as it were, though I still like to look at guys too and I can appreciate a nice big cock when I see one.
3rd girlfriend is now my lovely wife. She wanted kids too, so we looked into IVF, and I went for a sperm retrieval operation. It ended up being a far more invasive procedure than they'd intended, due to my childhood operations. The operation was a failure, so I officially can't make babies, ever. Worst of all, I had a benign cyst which was aggravated by the operation and now causes me chronic pain more often than not.
Surgeons say they can't remove it as there's too much risk of doing more damage that would leave me in constant pain. The only thing that seems to ease the pain is accupuncture, but I can't get that too often as there's only one local doctor who practices it.
The wife says she's happy just to have me, but I can see she's hurting some of the time, especially around Mother's Day, and I can't help but feel that it's my fault.
Even worse is that sex hurts, literally, I'm in agony for a week after sex. Masturbation seems to be ok, so not sure what's going on there. Perhaps it's nature's way of telling me that I shouldn't be having sex since I can't have kids.
I worked at a local supermarket for 7 years and that's where I met my wife, we were checkout supervisors together.
I'm currently working as practice manager in a local optician's (I'm basically a glorified receptionist), I've been in that job for 5 years now and I'm getting a bit restless.
I'm doing a degree through the Open University in the hope of getting a better job, but I'm only on my 1st year, still 5 years to go after this, as I'm doing it part-time.
I'm normally quite a shy guy who never knows what to say, which annoys the wife a bit, but that's just the way I am. I've always been better at writing how I feel about things than talking about my feelings.
I joined this community a month ago, as I've always been a bit of a pervert, unfortunately the wife is more reseved than I am and she'd probably kill me if she knew I was on here.
Thanks to the kind advice and support from friends on this community I'm finally happy to be my true self - a shy guy with an exhibitionist streak!
That's about all you need to know about me, some parts might have been a bit oversharing, but I felt the need to include everything that's made me the man I am today.
It's been pretty quiet at work today, the only real excitement was on my lunchbreak. I got a nasty shock when I discovered -3 bites into my cheeseburger - that it wasn't a cheeseburger. It was a chilli burger! It was a bit too hot for me to handle, so I had to take it back and get the cheeseburger I'd originally ordered.
I've always been wary about complaining about food, because the food servers have the power and they could add a little something you wouldn't want. Thankfully that didn't happen to me today.
That's about all for today, thanks to those who follow my daily musings and I hope my long-winded back-story hasn't put you all to sleep. I'll close this blog with the usual nerd humour pics.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
lenacristina:
:3
shmoogy:
Sorry to hear about you not being able to have children and your pain problems If I had/or do fall in love with someone who can't have children that would be sad, but I would look into other options, sperm doner or adoption. It would be sad not to have biological children with my mate, but biological or not, they would still be mine and my mates children no matter what.
If I had/or do fall in love with someone who can't have children that would be sad, but I would look into other options, sperm doner or adoption. It would be sad not to have biological children with my mate, but biological or not, they would still be mine and my mates children no matter what.