Well, folks, it looks like the time is here: time for me to move on. I was bound to pack it up sooner or later. Who'd'a thought it would be sooner.
I can't exactly pinpoint why I'm leaving the site (besides the obvious monetary gain, of course). I'd say the biggest reason is that I don't use it for porn anymore. I paid for a porn site, then I got to know a few of the girls (not on a "I talked to them and we're friends" basis, but on a "I've read what they type and I kinda know what their opinions are on a few important topics" basis); now I find I can't objectify them enough to get off on the pictures. The pictures are obviously pretty, of course, and I find the girls in them attractive, but more in a "I'd like to know you" way, not in a "I can imagine myself boning you" way. While that may not seem like much of a reason to stop paying, I would like to say that I have never sugar-coated my liking for porn. Porn is objectification, and that is partly why it gets me off (both male and female porn). When I could look at Quinne's sets and say, "Man, I'd like to do her," I was ok with it. Now I look at Quinne's sets and think, "Man, I'd like to know her."
Another reason is the false sense of community. This is a general reason that could be applied to any message-board website, of course, but as I never post on any other message boards, I'm applying it to this one. SG is a community; it started out that way (kind of) and it has stayed that way (for the most part). While I was not in on the ground floor, or even floors two and three, I did come in when it was still pretty small. You could get a sense that the people you were talking to actually cared what you had to say, even if they disagreed with you vehemently. Nowadays, it's as if I'm talking in ones and zeros; the boards are a free-for-all of the eighteen-and-up crowd, a crowd I, for the most part, despise (despite obviously being a part of it). I never had any illusions of SG staying a nice, not-so-quiet community of the open-minded, but I did have illusions of everyone sticking together, no matter what. I'm naive, I know, but that's fine with me.
What I'm trying to say about the community thing is, it's not. It's just a bunch of people who paid to get access to a porn site. There are a few gems of the intelligent and caring (those on my friends list, for example, and many others who aren't), but these are few and far between. The original feeling of community, coupled with the realization that just because you have a credit card and like "alternative" porn doesn't mean you and I will be family in a sense, has left me with a feeling of unreality, of dots that connect in a different way than I'd imagined.
I'd also like to say that I am in no way dissatisfied with the direction the site has gone in a business sense. It still does exactly what it promises, and the staff of SG has not broken any promises to me, as so many people seem to think has happened with them.
I guess I'm just saying that it's time for me to move on. Maybe I needed something from this site that I wasn't getting elsewhere and now I have it, and if that's the case, I am indeed a sad individual; that, however, is beside the point. Maybe I have changed in such a way as to make this unnecessary in my life. I don't know, but the fact that I've written out this long explanation in the hopes that someone will care that I'm departing should give you some indication of what I thought I was getting when I signed up.
To those on my friends list: I'll still be here awhile, and I'd like to get your e-mail addresses to keep in touch. The problem with this, though, is that I'm horrible at correspondence. I'd still like to try, though, if you guys don't just forget I was here when I leave.
To those who aren't on my friends list: Fuck you. No, wait, that's not what I meant. I meant: Fuck you. Huh. I guess that is what I meant.
And I'm still amazingly surprised that I never got zotted.
I can't exactly pinpoint why I'm leaving the site (besides the obvious monetary gain, of course). I'd say the biggest reason is that I don't use it for porn anymore. I paid for a porn site, then I got to know a few of the girls (not on a "I talked to them and we're friends" basis, but on a "I've read what they type and I kinda know what their opinions are on a few important topics" basis); now I find I can't objectify them enough to get off on the pictures. The pictures are obviously pretty, of course, and I find the girls in them attractive, but more in a "I'd like to know you" way, not in a "I can imagine myself boning you" way. While that may not seem like much of a reason to stop paying, I would like to say that I have never sugar-coated my liking for porn. Porn is objectification, and that is partly why it gets me off (both male and female porn). When I could look at Quinne's sets and say, "Man, I'd like to do her," I was ok with it. Now I look at Quinne's sets and think, "Man, I'd like to know her."
Another reason is the false sense of community. This is a general reason that could be applied to any message-board website, of course, but as I never post on any other message boards, I'm applying it to this one. SG is a community; it started out that way (kind of) and it has stayed that way (for the most part). While I was not in on the ground floor, or even floors two and three, I did come in when it was still pretty small. You could get a sense that the people you were talking to actually cared what you had to say, even if they disagreed with you vehemently. Nowadays, it's as if I'm talking in ones and zeros; the boards are a free-for-all of the eighteen-and-up crowd, a crowd I, for the most part, despise (despite obviously being a part of it). I never had any illusions of SG staying a nice, not-so-quiet community of the open-minded, but I did have illusions of everyone sticking together, no matter what. I'm naive, I know, but that's fine with me.
What I'm trying to say about the community thing is, it's not. It's just a bunch of people who paid to get access to a porn site. There are a few gems of the intelligent and caring (those on my friends list, for example, and many others who aren't), but these are few and far between. The original feeling of community, coupled with the realization that just because you have a credit card and like "alternative" porn doesn't mean you and I will be family in a sense, has left me with a feeling of unreality, of dots that connect in a different way than I'd imagined.
I'd also like to say that I am in no way dissatisfied with the direction the site has gone in a business sense. It still does exactly what it promises, and the staff of SG has not broken any promises to me, as so many people seem to think has happened with them.
I guess I'm just saying that it's time for me to move on. Maybe I needed something from this site that I wasn't getting elsewhere and now I have it, and if that's the case, I am indeed a sad individual; that, however, is beside the point. Maybe I have changed in such a way as to make this unnecessary in my life. I don't know, but the fact that I've written out this long explanation in the hopes that someone will care that I'm departing should give you some indication of what I thought I was getting when I signed up.
To those on my friends list: I'll still be here awhile, and I'd like to get your e-mail addresses to keep in touch. The problem with this, though, is that I'm horrible at correspondence. I'd still like to try, though, if you guys don't just forget I was here when I leave.
To those who aren't on my friends list: Fuck you. No, wait, that's not what I meant. I meant: Fuck you. Huh. I guess that is what I meant.
And I'm still amazingly surprised that I never got zotted.
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
[Edited on Dec 29, 2003 4:35PM]