thelonestargirl

I dreamed I was pregnant again last night. What's strange is that these dreams arren't alarming to me at all. In fact, they are usually exciting and exhilirating, with promise of an uncertain future. The thought of being pregnant, even unwed, uneducated and uncareer-possesive as I am, feels like the most beatiful thing that could ever happen to me. The thought of something growing inside me, a beautiful child, it's a fantasy I live out in these dreams. I know it'll happen for me someday. After I finish college, get a career, get married and buy a house. All the responsible stuff that I wouldn't dream of NOT doing before having a child. Maybe it's something to do with my secret hope that I'll find someone to have a child with. Maybe having a kid to me means I've completed everything else I've ever wanted to do and therefore achieved my dreams. Maybe I like the feeling because it feels pure and loving. Who knows, but I hope I keep having them.