thelibra

dear jason, jonathan, ed, michael, eddie, and michael,
[yes, all six of you.]

thank you all for fucking up my ability to trust the person with who i'm in a relationship. the issues that you six have so fucking graciously bestowed upon me are such a wonderful hindrance to any sort of happiness that i may desire with another person. the paranoia from you not communicating, talking, calling, writing, or even giving a shit has caused me to think the worst when i fail to recieve a phone call or response to an email.

your deception is unparalelled. the manner in which you all led me on was amazing. you have all caused me to question him every time he says that he loves me or that he is crazy about me. every time you all said it, they were lies. since i was brought up in a democracy, majority rules. 6-1. those aren't great odds. since you six led me on like that, especially you, last michael, what makes me think that he isn't doing the same?

your behavior while in a relationship with me has caused me to believe that anyone who is with me can and will go astray from the relationship. this is emotional hell for me. if he doesn't go out and fuck the next thing with a twat that he sees like you all did, then these aforementioned issues will just push him away and cause me to lose something that could have been fucking wonderful.

i never deserved any of that. i deserve to be treated like the wonderful, amazing and intelligent woman that i am. he does all of the above and more, but yet i can't get past the fact that you all have hurt me so horribly. what was so wrong with me? nothing. it was always you. but you cowardly fuckheads just needed a doormat, or a scapegoat, or, in one case, a punching bag. and i thought it was me all this time.

well, you know something? now it is me. my paranoia and frustration have manifested so that i can't take anything that he says seriously even though i'd very much like to. he says he loves me and i want to think that he means it. i know he means it. yet i can't stop doubting it because you all said the same fucking thing.

i hope you all get social diseases and die horrible, painful deaths.

jamie

edited 3-19-2005 to add this:

Libra:
If you are currently in a relationship, stability may temporarily have to give way to change. If you have been attracted to someone, now may be the right time to act on your desires. Unfortunately, verbal communication may not work in your favor, for your emotions can be volcanically intense, scaring away the very person you wish to engage. Don't be attached to the outcome. No matter what, honesty is the best policy and will save you from bigger problems down the road.

*smacks forehead*
carry on.