thekid_is_back

lull, lull, lull.
bored, bored, bored.
hmmm.

work all done.
nothing but errands and little life things to do.

maybe something will turn up.
maybe it'll fall out of the sky on me?

going outside might help the situation.
or maybe i'll just clean up the shop again.


lazy afternoon's on lazy days.

the kid.

no use in crying over spilled milk.

so there's this crane i seem to keep climbing up on to.
one of those construction ones.
i dragged a buddie up it the other night.

something about how high up it is.
and the 'exposure'.
little 8" cat walk takes you out to the end of it.

real nice view.
maybe i just want to think how...
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i might be going out of my mind.
i mean this happens at times, it's not a stranger to my life.

it's just, i'm not sure, can't really put my finger on it.
i get these funks. it's like that feeling of sliding off tall rock. where you're trying to let yourself down as slow as you can, because you don't want to jump from...
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winter is here.

cold nights. extra blanket on the bed.
kitties snuggling together.

and yet it's that nice sf autumn.
sunshine during the day.
little white clouds float by the blue sky.

people in a rush to get somewhere.
jobs, friends, special others.

watching it go by.
like a movie.
wondering where i fit in sometimes.

happy today though.

the kid.

the booze, that sweet elixir.

soothes the nerves, soothes the soul.

that feeling, sliding down the pipes, warming the belly.
then the fog. blurs the memory. makes it OK.

so many friends, so many miles away.
phones don't do it justice.

maybe i should show up on the front step.

hi.

yeah, hi.
if you ever heard it. you know.


waiting for that newness.
when...
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late night.

sitting alone in the dark.
raining outside. patter patter on the roof.

just thinking to myself.
tattoo down my arm.
"life never surprises me"

god i want it to. it just never seems to.
i mean it's always a surprise in a certain way.
it's just you get those little feelings, and it comes true, no?

sort of creepy sometimes.
how come they...
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i don't think i'm going to meet any people on this thing.
it feels sort of weird asking someone to be your friend over the computer super highway.

so i'll just keep blabbing on here by myself for awhile.

yep. so she's gone. i'll explain myself on this one.
she's been gone. and now she will be really gone in a couple of days. like...
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jesus christ or JC from now on.

what a week.
insane.

how cool is it to skate with one of the guys you looked up to when you were coming up.

so strawberry. yeah. shite.
pool contest. lot's of fun.
rode with the old time pro's.
pulled myself into 7th place.
just cracking up, so not interested in what place i got.
just fun to...
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so....
i really don't know what the hell this is all about, or what i think i'm doing.

i guess it's some sort of attempt at catharsis.
ever get your heart broke? ever meet someone that fit so perfect, but at the same time just wouldn't go?

i guess i'm looking forward and backward at the same time.
and i'm too fucking proud to just...
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