Sorry, I have not been around much. My mother, who has been sick, in and out of hospitals & nursing homes for over a year, passed away at the beginning of this month. It didn't help that we have never been close and have lots of unresolved issues. That guilt just adds to everything. And of course the anger. She died as a direct result of the continuous poor choices she made. And it pisses me off. Which only leads to more guilt.
As a result of all of this I've also had more contact with my family than I have had in years. Including my estranged father and a sister I have not seen or spoken to in years. It's all been very draining.
On top of all that I am looking for a new job, possibly an entire new career. Of course I have no idea what I want to do. I just know I don't want to do anything I've done up until now. I'd like to explore options in other cities. But unless I want to do that alone it's just not an option.
Throw in my wife's declining health and a few health problems of my own and I just feel overwhelmed. Spend too much time sleeping. Not enough time doing anything meaningful. And not feeling very social or talkative.
Hopefully that will change soon and I will talk to you all then. This felt like a good first step anyway.
Reading: T.H. White "The Once And Future King"
Listening to: Nick Lowe - You Inspire Me
As a result of all of this I've also had more contact with my family than I have had in years. Including my estranged father and a sister I have not seen or spoken to in years. It's all been very draining.
On top of all that I am looking for a new job, possibly an entire new career. Of course I have no idea what I want to do. I just know I don't want to do anything I've done up until now. I'd like to explore options in other cities. But unless I want to do that alone it's just not an option.
Throw in my wife's declining health and a few health problems of my own and I just feel overwhelmed. Spend too much time sleeping. Not enough time doing anything meaningful. And not feeling very social or talkative.
Hopefully that will change soon and I will talk to you all then. This felt like a good first step anyway.
Reading: T.H. White "The Once And Future King"
Listening to: Nick Lowe - You Inspire Me
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
On the more vapid front: The show I am extolling is so much better than that celebrity monstrosity. It's pretty much a given that when the word celebrity is affixed to any show it will be terrible. There are moments of pure joy, sadness, triumph, defeat, and so many other human emotions on "my" show that make it worth watching. True talent against true talent is so rewarding to watch. Shit, if our ancestors enjoyed and we do as well, we must be getting something right, right? After all these years?
the picture in my journal is actually taken just a few blocks from my house. it's the tower for WXRT, which has actually now moved to a location downtown, so i'm not sure it's even in use anymore. it's kind of a bland radio station that i never listen to anyway. i mostly appreciate it as a beacon when i'm wandering home drunk on foot.
hang in there, man.