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thejuanupsman

Minneapolis, MN.

Member Since 2004

Followers 116 Following 120

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Tuesday May 01, 2007

May 1, 2007
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I had this really long entry written. It was an attempt to change the subject. To talk about something else. To share something about myself that I had not previously revealed. But in the end it bored me. And it didn't ring true.

It wasn't the real me. It was just the me I wanted to present. I never really share the real me. Or at least not anymore. Maybe I did once. If you went back far enough you might catch a glimpse. Or you have known me long enough you may have seen a little. Not anymore. I keep myself hidden.

It just doesn't feel safe. That makes me sad.

________________________________________________________________________________
Update May 2nd 12pm

I wish people I care about would stop leaving.

________________________________________________________________________________
May 4th 130 am

I can't decide if I want to erase this journal, start a new one or just keep adding to it forever. Part of me thinks the above is just a bunch of emo crap. Another part of me thinks it is probably the most honest journal I have had up in over a year.


Mood: Nostalgic

Music: The Real McKenzies - Auld Lang Syne
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
suzy_kabloozy:
How is it that I didn't know you were back on here? I guess that should show how active I have been here since "the guy" left, which is damn near a year ago now.

It's funny ... I think that I try to show who I really am, but no one really gets it anyway. I always feel utterly inadequate and it makes me sad, too. I don't know when this happened. I don't know why this happened. I just know it did.

Still, I put on the brave face and take my best stab at it.
May 6, 2007
toothpickmoe:
In a way, I'm pissed at the word emo. It's very existence devalues any real showing of emotion a lot of us have.

The countdown to the Summer Games begins!
May 7, 2007

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