Backstory:
I have known this girl Jesse for over 5 years. We first met at a strip club were she was working. We started the normal stripper/customer exchange until she asked me where I worked. Come to find out I worked with her sister at Cracker Barrell. The conversation then changed to a more friendly getting to know one another kind. She was married at the time so I wasn't even looking at her in that way.
I became a regular at the strip club, actually dating one of her friends (at the time, they aren't friends any more) and had a pretty regular exchange with her. I never bought a lap dance from her, but she still came to talk to me telling me how her life was going and freely giving countless amounts of personal information about herself. When my life went in another direction I stopped going to the strip club.
I moved back to the area and decided to check out the local strip club again. It had been about 2 1/2 years since I had seen this. As soon as I walk in and sit down, she sees me and RUNS over and says, "Josh? Do you remember my name?" I smile and say with happy tone in my voice, "Yes I remember your name." The whole time wondering, does she really think I wouldn't remember her name? She then tells me she has to go up on stage and she will come talk to me afterwards. I follow her to the stage and for the almost whole two songs, she danced right in front of me, but never tried to take a dollar from me.
Once she was done dancing she came and set with me and we started to catch up. I bought her a drink because strippers are only aloud a minute and a half to talk to a customer if the customer hasn't bought them a drink. I knew this club rule from the days of being a regular and dating Jesse's friend. We talked about how her husband had cheated on her with the same friend who I had dated and other little tid bits about life over the last 2 1/2 years. She complimented me on my eyes saying, "I wish I had awesome, big brown eyes like yours." The club was really dead so after an hour of being there they decided to close the club. I was quite upset by this, and I think she may have read into it. She was the last dancer of the night and I went up to the stage. No one else came to tip her so she danced a little then stopped to talk to me, complementing me on the way my head was shaved and my straight-line goatee (or whatever it is called). I gave her a multi-dollar tip to which she was completely shocked and she then did something which was completely out of her nature, she actually danced like she was trying to impress me with her seductive wilds. After her dance I tried to wait around to say bye but I was forced out of the club by security while she was still collecting her clothes.
The next time I came we flirted back and forth but she never came and talked to me other then when she was on stage. She was really busy with other customers and never got a chance to come and talked to me even though she said she wanted to.
The next time I came wasn't to see naked chicks, I came with a business question. The club was really run down and needed a fixing up and I want to know how to contact the owner to she if she would sell it to me. I was in the market for a business oppertunity at the time. Buying the club never happened because of a law in the county that would have shut the club down if it ever changed hands. During the conversation I refered to us as friends, she acknowledge that we were but at the same time seemed offended. So much so that she gave me a handshake that lead into a one armed hug. You know the kind, a "guy hug" when two guys are trying to be really masculine about showing affection for one another. This really, really shocked me considering every other hug she had gave me was much more personal in nature. I left confused.
I went back as as soon a finances would allow, but she wasn't there. Upon the way home I was thinking about Jesse and started to think about what had went down between us the past several months and realized that she might have been interested in me. This stayed in my mind for a while and then I went back, three or four months had past. Jesse wasn't there, so I asked one of the other strippers who Jesse had been chummy with if she stilled worked there. She said no that she had quit a few months ago. I wasn't aware of the look on my face but she saw my face and said, "Oh I 'm sorry.... You look so sad." She then tried her stripper best to be comforting, but she wasn't aware that Jesse had been much more then just some attractive stripper to me. She had a been sweet really good friend, a...... Thats when I realized how I felt about her and over the past year or so it has haunted me. Every time I drive past the strip club I think of her, every time I see a girl with black hair I think of her, everytime I listen to A Perfect Circle (Jesse's favorite band) I think of her, etc.
The problem:
The haunting has become too much and I feel that I must find her. The problem is I don't want to be the stalker person. What if I am completely misreading the signals?
My sister has two kids by a guy, Jason who use to work security at the strip club and actually fixed Jesse's brakes once. She has moved since then so his info is basically useless, but he is dating a women who works up at the strip club and from what I understand knows where Jesse is at. The women Jason is dating knows nothing of me and Jesse's friendship and would likely see me as just some obsessed stalker guy and if I approached her with "Hey can you tell me how to get a hold of Jesse," because she too is a stripper and they get alot of crazy obsessed guys trying to know them outside of the strip club.
Do you think I might have misread the signals?
How do I approach her for the information?
If I do get the information. How do I approach Jesse in case I did misread the signals, so I do not seem like the stalker guy? A letter, have a this women call her first, etc.
Sorry it is so long. Please don't immeadiately look down on her because she was a stripper. While I admit many strippers are psycho she from what I got to know of her is one of the exceptions, otherwise I wouldn't have even been friendly with her.
I have known this girl Jesse for over 5 years. We first met at a strip club were she was working. We started the normal stripper/customer exchange until she asked me where I worked. Come to find out I worked with her sister at Cracker Barrell. The conversation then changed to a more friendly getting to know one another kind. She was married at the time so I wasn't even looking at her in that way.
I became a regular at the strip club, actually dating one of her friends (at the time, they aren't friends any more) and had a pretty regular exchange with her. I never bought a lap dance from her, but she still came to talk to me telling me how her life was going and freely giving countless amounts of personal information about herself. When my life went in another direction I stopped going to the strip club.
I moved back to the area and decided to check out the local strip club again. It had been about 2 1/2 years since I had seen this. As soon as I walk in and sit down, she sees me and RUNS over and says, "Josh? Do you remember my name?" I smile and say with happy tone in my voice, "Yes I remember your name." The whole time wondering, does she really think I wouldn't remember her name? She then tells me she has to go up on stage and she will come talk to me afterwards. I follow her to the stage and for the almost whole two songs, she danced right in front of me, but never tried to take a dollar from me.
Once she was done dancing she came and set with me and we started to catch up. I bought her a drink because strippers are only aloud a minute and a half to talk to a customer if the customer hasn't bought them a drink. I knew this club rule from the days of being a regular and dating Jesse's friend. We talked about how her husband had cheated on her with the same friend who I had dated and other little tid bits about life over the last 2 1/2 years. She complimented me on my eyes saying, "I wish I had awesome, big brown eyes like yours." The club was really dead so after an hour of being there they decided to close the club. I was quite upset by this, and I think she may have read into it. She was the last dancer of the night and I went up to the stage. No one else came to tip her so she danced a little then stopped to talk to me, complementing me on the way my head was shaved and my straight-line goatee (or whatever it is called). I gave her a multi-dollar tip to which she was completely shocked and she then did something which was completely out of her nature, she actually danced like she was trying to impress me with her seductive wilds. After her dance I tried to wait around to say bye but I was forced out of the club by security while she was still collecting her clothes.
The next time I came we flirted back and forth but she never came and talked to me other then when she was on stage. She was really busy with other customers and never got a chance to come and talked to me even though she said she wanted to.
The next time I came wasn't to see naked chicks, I came with a business question. The club was really run down and needed a fixing up and I want to know how to contact the owner to she if she would sell it to me. I was in the market for a business oppertunity at the time. Buying the club never happened because of a law in the county that would have shut the club down if it ever changed hands. During the conversation I refered to us as friends, she acknowledge that we were but at the same time seemed offended. So much so that she gave me a handshake that lead into a one armed hug. You know the kind, a "guy hug" when two guys are trying to be really masculine about showing affection for one another. This really, really shocked me considering every other hug she had gave me was much more personal in nature. I left confused.
I went back as as soon a finances would allow, but she wasn't there. Upon the way home I was thinking about Jesse and started to think about what had went down between us the past several months and realized that she might have been interested in me. This stayed in my mind for a while and then I went back, three or four months had past. Jesse wasn't there, so I asked one of the other strippers who Jesse had been chummy with if she stilled worked there. She said no that she had quit a few months ago. I wasn't aware of the look on my face but she saw my face and said, "Oh I 'm sorry.... You look so sad." She then tried her stripper best to be comforting, but she wasn't aware that Jesse had been much more then just some attractive stripper to me. She had a been sweet really good friend, a...... Thats when I realized how I felt about her and over the past year or so it has haunted me. Every time I drive past the strip club I think of her, every time I see a girl with black hair I think of her, everytime I listen to A Perfect Circle (Jesse's favorite band) I think of her, etc.
The problem:
The haunting has become too much and I feel that I must find her. The problem is I don't want to be the stalker person. What if I am completely misreading the signals?
My sister has two kids by a guy, Jason who use to work security at the strip club and actually fixed Jesse's brakes once. She has moved since then so his info is basically useless, but he is dating a women who works up at the strip club and from what I understand knows where Jesse is at. The women Jason is dating knows nothing of me and Jesse's friendship and would likely see me as just some obsessed stalker guy and if I approached her with "Hey can you tell me how to get a hold of Jesse," because she too is a stripper and they get alot of crazy obsessed guys trying to know them outside of the strip club.
Do you think I might have misread the signals?
How do I approach her for the information?
If I do get the information. How do I approach Jesse in case I did misread the signals, so I do not seem like the stalker guy? A letter, have a this women call her first, etc.
Sorry it is so long. Please don't immeadiately look down on her because she was a stripper. While I admit many strippers are psycho she from what I got to know of her is one of the exceptions, otherwise I wouldn't have even been friendly with her.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
rhiannac:
It can't hurt to take a shot... You can always ask and if she shoots you down, then you know where you're at. I wouldn't rush into anything hardcore if she accepts, especially since she has kids, but I would try. Good luck!!
rhiannac:
Yikes, sorry about the double post.. And yes, I did misread... Oops