Tuesday Jul 05, 2011

0
TUESDAY 7.06pm

please only click if you can handle a soppy rant

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

ok...you've all put a lot of work into making me happy, giving me advice about my relationship with my ex.
so what do i do?
i fuck it all up.
i text her yesterday. we fight after three hours of texting.
i delete her from everything.
she texts me just before i go to bed this morning and we talk more when i get up this arvo.

it appears she is moving on. but what do i do?
what do i do when i'm stuck in a rut?
she's being all chatty and nice, but i feel like shit, and i realise after 3 hours of 'chatting' today that i'm only doing it to be close to her and to feel some kinda something like we had.

why can't i just be a mean hearted bastard and just dump all over her...walk away and feel good?
why can't i just stop thinking about her?
for 10 days we had no contact....and i thought about her constantly...every hour, and i was desperately unhappy.
now we're talking? i think about her constantly, every hour, and i'm just unhappy.

i kid myself that finding someone else will ease the pain, but it wont.
i dont want anyone else.
even the hottest, kindest girl on here wont cut it.

you guys were all right...and i'm sorry.
this is it now. no more heartbreak blogs.
it was fine when i was a newbie...and no one really cared, but now i have good friends on here, i dont wanna bring you all down.
so no more blogs like this.

and thank you all for trying so so hard on my behalf.

EDIT bitchin' hard run tomorrow, the only self harm i'm brave enough to do.


In other news....

best thing about a new tattoo?
constantly admiring it in the mirror

the worst thing?
it itching like fleas with pubic lice

some other time friends.
\m/

VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
heathen:
The thing about friends is, we like being here to hear about your woes and worries so that we can do our best to offer you a kind ear and a shoulder when you need it most. That's what friends are for. Not everything is sunshine, in fact, i'm glad it's not. Imagine how horribly dull this planet would be if perfection reigned. Rough times like this make us stronger, more capable people. I only wish there was something more I could do. But time tends to heal things in it's own way.
skotbites:
frown Hope you don't mind me throwing my 2p in. I don't know the ins and outs but all you can do is be honest with everyone involved including yourself which it seems you are.

Everyone says it but time really is a great healer, when I split with my sons mum we fought alot. ALOT.

Now 5years down the line, we're really good friends, she has moved on and is married with 3 other kids.

Keep your pecker up.

s.

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