thegoatlord

i think im slowly slipping back into my funk of not giving a damn, again. just have a sinking feeling that, with the way things are going, im not gonna give a damn and just say and do whatever comes to mind. i hate being there, but it seems im there more often than not. i always seem to piss off the vast majority of people when im there, but i look at it this way. whats the point in not being there? i have nothing to look for wether im there or not. nothing gets done either way, and i still feel left out in the cold regardless of which i am.

sorry for the blahness, just been down a bit knowing that the girl that i want, i wont be able to have in any form. its not necessarily that i want a relationship, its just that this girl is just that damn awesome that i want her. i dont really know how to put it into words, just the way she is, acts, and feels about things is a huge turn on for me. theres not one flag on her that makes me think ill of her. but, as her friend told me, she doesnt date. which (in how i look at it) means she wont even be anything more than something for me to yearn for and never get. i dont really know where im goin with this, or why im typin all of it, but bleh.. no one else understands it the way i do.

i now have my car totally paid off, as of last friday. just need to make my last payment and im free. an extra 200 in my pocket a month, which im very gracious for. as much as id rather get a truck or something, i think ill keep my little smooth ride baby. she may not be much to look at, but she does what shes made for. the one female that doesnt dislike me, also.

i need to find a new job, and get enrolled into a few clases at the Ivy Tech here in town.. but, im a lazy bastard, so i dont think thats gonna be anytime soon. but it needs to be.

saw a girl i liked forever ago, this past saturday. she always was one of the quiet, good honest girls. and she actually dropped out of college. very suprising to me, considering i thought shed be one of the ones to go all the way through without ever even giving a thought of quitting. heh, shows you never really know someone, i guess.

well, i cant really think of anything else at the moment, so im gonna let this end. at some point in time, im gonna host two pics, and i want a few opinions of what shall be inked on my skin. its beavis and butthead, just gotta decide on which ones to get.. awesome pics, if i do say so myself, and since B&B was a huge thing for me when i was younger, i think they deserve a bit of skin on my wee little leggies.

ayways, have a good one. and Hexe, if you read this, we goin to KY for the show or what?!