thefuneralof

I just cut and paste this...it's from one of the journals I update on a regular basis.

I'm sitting here after just recently rolling out of bed with hooligan. He's laying right by me sleeping again...it's what he does best.

I realize that there really isn't that much to complain about.

I'm comfortable with my job, and while at times it stresses me out and makes me want to vomit I really don't have any complaints, I should be used to stressing myself out over inventory by now. But I work with a great group of people who, for the most part, would do anything for me.

My friends are amazing, and I'm not just talking about the one's that I see every day, I'm talking about the ones that I can go a month or so without seeing and when we get together it's seems like only minutes have passed since we last saw each other.

My life didn't turn out exactly how I had planned it to. Filling out divorce papers on what should be your 4 year anniversary is bound to fuck any one up just a little. Delivering them a day or so later will definatly fuck some one up.

Working in retail isn't exactly what I had in mind when I was torturing my body with 3 hours of sleep while attending 18 credit hour semesters at Illinois State University. I has such ambitious plans, I was going to make a difference, I was going to make a change. I was going to scream until the system crumbled.

Everything's changed...nothing will ever be the same. It's been hard to accept, it's been even harder to make it through some of it, but I'm here, still standing. I'm still fighting, but in a different way. I choose my battles now, and I accept the things that I can't change. That doesn't mean I will stop though.

So ya...my life has changed, I don't walk the halls of a university anymore, I don't attend that many shows, I don't write as often as I would like, I don't practice certain things as often as I would like, but I'm trying, trying to do the best that I can with what I have.

And what I have are some of the most incredible, caring friends in the world.

What prompted this crazy little post? Hearing from a friend I hadn't heard from in about 7 years and reflecting on everything we had been though. I was only 12 and in a new town. He was like the older brother I never had (even though I had one) and now our lives have both changed drastically, but there are so many things that contribute to who we are that are solely that way, because of our influence on each other so many years ago. I wouldn't be the person I am today with out him, I would like to say that it's the same way for him. The amount of time that passed had no baring on us hanging out, we went right back into it...old friends, good movies, better tea and the rest of the world disappearing.

Don't lose touch with that...if there's someone you haven't talked to in a while, give them a call, if there's someone you just met that's touched your life, call them...don't let stupid little shit get in the way. Life's short and I truly believe that you only meet a certain amount of people in your life that will change who you are, for most of you you've probably already met a lot of them, don't let them slip away, don't let petty differences get in the way...they came into your life for a reason.