I want to be dependable, I want to be courageous and good
I want to be faithful so that I can be heroic and true
I want to be a friend you can rely on, you can lean on, and trust
I want to understand so I can forgive and be willing to love
Garbage - Metal Heart
I was listening to Garbage on the way to work today, and when I heard those lyrics, for possibly the hundreth time, they really stood out. It's pretty much a statement of how I feel on a day-to-day basis. It's pretty much... Me.
Bah. I'm in another one of my moods. And yes, the girl has something to do with it. Not directly, but just enough to mess me up a little.
Oh, and I fucking hate where I'm currently working. I was transferred to a store in Braintree to help out for five weeks (One down!), due to the fact that they can't keep a constant staff for extended periods of time. Now I know why. The "acting" manager is completely over-the-top with everything. I'm sure he's just trying to impress his higher-ups so he can keep the position he's temporarily filling. I'm helping him out by being there, but he can't accept the fact that, truth be told, I'm better than him, and that originally they wanted me to take his current "temporary" position until he raised a stink about it. I know how to do my job, and I actually do it pretty damned well, but he feels he needs to remind me of every little thing that may cross his mind, that may not meet up to his "standards". The guy below me is a one of those people who, well, to put it nicely, doesn't own a toothbrush, and if he does, it hasn't visited the interior of his mouth in quite some time. Oh, and he smokes. A lot.
The other two (Yup, that's it, two others!) are decent. It's a shame that one of them turned in his two-week notice a few days ago, and the other is on vaction for the next two weeks.
I'm not getting paid much more than when I was working in Saugus. The drive in usually lasts 30 minutes to an hour, while the drive home is usually 20 to 30 minutes. I haven't had to deal with a commute like that since last year when I was working in Natick. And working in a Suncoast, not a Sam Goody/Suncoast location absolutely sucks. I enjoy movies and all, but this re-location has made me realize how much I love music. I can't wait until I get out every day, so I can listen to something other than the same damned promo reel that repeats itself every half-hour. I work so much better with music playing in the background. At least the drive there and back gives me time to actually sit still and listen, not hear, but listen to my music. But it's not enough to make me even consider this situation tolerable. I don't care if it will look good on my review, or that I'm getting 40 hours guaranteed every week.
I do have the option of going back if I feel I can't handle it, but I'm stubborn. I want my boss in Saugus to be proud that one of his best (If not "the" best) employees went and helped a struggling store regain it's lost footing.
I have no intention of moving up in the company. And I don't want my resume to be limited to working in "entertainment retail", as it has been for the past five years. But I continue doing this job because it happens to be all that I know how to do right now. Am I settling for mediocrity? I'm beginning to think that I am. I'd love to do something else, but any stoppage in funds would upheave everything. As it is, I'm barely getting by right now with what I'm earning. Ugh.
I'll leave this post with something that seems to make me feel a little better, a random Vin Diesel fact:
Vin Diesel made a food chart that adds a necessary food group: The souls of your enemies.
I want to be faithful so that I can be heroic and true
I want to be a friend you can rely on, you can lean on, and trust
I want to understand so I can forgive and be willing to love
Garbage - Metal Heart
I was listening to Garbage on the way to work today, and when I heard those lyrics, for possibly the hundreth time, they really stood out. It's pretty much a statement of how I feel on a day-to-day basis. It's pretty much... Me.
Bah. I'm in another one of my moods. And yes, the girl has something to do with it. Not directly, but just enough to mess me up a little.
Oh, and I fucking hate where I'm currently working. I was transferred to a store in Braintree to help out for five weeks (One down!), due to the fact that they can't keep a constant staff for extended periods of time. Now I know why. The "acting" manager is completely over-the-top with everything. I'm sure he's just trying to impress his higher-ups so he can keep the position he's temporarily filling. I'm helping him out by being there, but he can't accept the fact that, truth be told, I'm better than him, and that originally they wanted me to take his current "temporary" position until he raised a stink about it. I know how to do my job, and I actually do it pretty damned well, but he feels he needs to remind me of every little thing that may cross his mind, that may not meet up to his "standards". The guy below me is a one of those people who, well, to put it nicely, doesn't own a toothbrush, and if he does, it hasn't visited the interior of his mouth in quite some time. Oh, and he smokes. A lot.
The other two (Yup, that's it, two others!) are decent. It's a shame that one of them turned in his two-week notice a few days ago, and the other is on vaction for the next two weeks.
I'm not getting paid much more than when I was working in Saugus. The drive in usually lasts 30 minutes to an hour, while the drive home is usually 20 to 30 minutes. I haven't had to deal with a commute like that since last year when I was working in Natick. And working in a Suncoast, not a Sam Goody/Suncoast location absolutely sucks. I enjoy movies and all, but this re-location has made me realize how much I love music. I can't wait until I get out every day, so I can listen to something other than the same damned promo reel that repeats itself every half-hour. I work so much better with music playing in the background. At least the drive there and back gives me time to actually sit still and listen, not hear, but listen to my music. But it's not enough to make me even consider this situation tolerable. I don't care if it will look good on my review, or that I'm getting 40 hours guaranteed every week.
I do have the option of going back if I feel I can't handle it, but I'm stubborn. I want my boss in Saugus to be proud that one of his best (If not "the" best) employees went and helped a struggling store regain it's lost footing.
I have no intention of moving up in the company. And I don't want my resume to be limited to working in "entertainment retail", as it has been for the past five years. But I continue doing this job because it happens to be all that I know how to do right now. Am I settling for mediocrity? I'm beginning to think that I am. I'd love to do something else, but any stoppage in funds would upheave everything. As it is, I'm barely getting by right now with what I'm earning. Ugh.
I'll leave this post with something that seems to make me feel a little better, a random Vin Diesel fact:
Vin Diesel made a food chart that adds a necessary food group: The souls of your enemies.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
I played the version that was on the "Everyday is Halloween" 12" (and I think it's out on a Ministry cd callrd "12 Inch Singles"), but it was also released in a different version on the "Twitch" cd.