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thefly

Member Since 2003

Followers 35 Following 102

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Thursday Jan 03, 2008

Jan 2, 2008
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They say what you do on the first day of the new year is indicative of what you'll be doing for the rest of the year.


I was in my hospital's ER.

Thirty years old and having chest pains, shortness of breath. I was told to get in a gown, had nitro sprayed under by tongue, x-ray, vials of blood drawn. And waited. The amazing thing? There's not a damn thing wrong with me. Last Saturday at work (in the hospital) I had the same feeling (in fact, I had that same feeling since Saturday) and hooked myself up to a monitor (my job is telemetry, afterall) and frighteningly saw that my rhythm was all wrong; my P waves were notched (meaning the atrium were beating out of sync) and my T waves were inverted (which is a sign of ischemia, the heart isn't getting enough oxygen) and there was slight ST elevation (another sign of ischemia... when someone has a heart attack the ST continues to elevate). My insurance didn't begin until 2008 so I had to wait, which I was reprimanded by the doctor being told I should have come then and there. Asshole. I can't afford a few thousand dollars in emergency care bills.

Anyways, there's not a damn thing wrong with me. X-ray was normal and all tests were negative or normal. Even the TSH done on my thyroid, a problematic gland for my mother's family, was a.o.k. I don't smoke, occasionally drink (drunkenism runs on both sides of my family) and have nothing to do with illegal drugs. So the doctor blamed caffeine. When I told him I had 36 oz (and that's a mild estimate, truth be told) of soda pop a day he began speaking in French (then asked me to excuse it). He said one should not intake more than 12 oz. a day. And he spoke of coffee. Hehe, I do the Dew (funny when you think that in my profile under vices caffeine is listed there, my only addiction besides naked females). Mountain Dew has fuckingassshitload of caffeine. Caffeine causes irregular and tachycardic (fast) heart rates.

Goddamn it. All I ever freakin' wanted in this life was my caffeine and now I'm told I can't. But I can't see that being a big problem. I've always gorged myself on carbonated goodness (and tea, too) so why all of a sudden is it killing me? And think of it, if you go to McDonald's (don't worry, I didn't use this asinine logic on the doctor) the small cup is 20 oz. So eating at McDonald's has blown your caffeine intake for the day. Twenty ounce drinks at the 7-11. Twelve ounce cans in my fridge. I cannot believe caffeine is killing me that horribly.

As it is, he gave me two days off from work, which is great for I only had two days to work before a three day weekend, work Monday, off three more days. In a few hours I have to go for a follow up at the doctor's uptown. I'm supposed to be taking it easy. And I am. But please help me understand why I'm still having chest pains? My secondary diagnosis is anxiety, which can cause my primary diagnosis. Ironic, I don't want to be put on whatever they put anxious people on and they don't seem to want to put me on it. It saddens me when I think all of this (and I think this now since the doc says I'm fit as a fiddle) is because I have no puppy, I have no girl, I have no family that cares (it is a sobering experience driving yourself to the emergency room) and my finances are taking a downswing again since I have doctor's bills to pay now. No female companionship in ten years and no friends for five... no wonder my heart wants to up and die.


In my free time I did turn one of my Intel Macs into a PC running Vista (via Leopard and Boot Camp). It seems so unfair. My next move is to make my old G4 a dual boot Mac; OS X Leopard and an older version of OS X, one that supports Classic. Maybe I'll cut out the middle man and reinstall OS 9. I have some older games I wish to play. As for Vista, it's pretty but XP worked better. I still don't understand, however, why people prefer to use Windows.

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