thefly

I miss desire. I remember in school, the first day of class (I never actually listened, God, who does) I would look around at my classmates and decide who it was I would lust after. It was rarely the prettiest one or the most popular one. But she would stand out, usually by body language expressing awkwardness. That wins my heart, someone who visibly shows the awkwardness one feels. And though it would never lead anywhere (she had a boyfriend and usually had an personality much worse than the prettiest, most popular one; go figure) at least there was someone to attach desire to. Not having that muse or such leaves an empty feeling. Desirable people don't work the nightshift (which I think long and hard about since that's where I am!!). Perhaps it's the fact I'm not in academia, a setting a very much enjoyed. I visited my mother the beginning of the week for Mother's Day (she's working today and lives in Myrtle Beach which is crawling with Harleys right now) and went through the mall. It was filled with desire, boy howdy. And then I realized something else I miss... being desired (though there's a good chance I never was, at any time, so the point is possibly moot)

And for any amigos in MB who reads that forgive me... it was my Mother Visiting Trip. I'll look you up when I'm on my own time.


Bought a pitcher today. I'm cutting back on my carbonated drinks (even Cheerwine, which I seem to be addicted to right now) and wanted to brew some tea but had nothing to put it in. Had to go to the Dollar General to get it. I don't like those places... they feel like cluttered, dirty stores even when they're brand new. But they had a pitcher which I've drank half of the tea out of right now.

Speaking of no sugar water, I had the worse headache going to work last night which I attributed to having to go to work. Got there, popped a Tootsie Roll in my mouth and felt loads better. Cutting out sugar and caffeine is a bad thing.

I'm still trying to get into my studio and get to painting, drawing and all that again but haven't. If you want to know why read here.

My father stole my lawn mower. Since he and I aren't on good terms right now I can't see him doing anything nice like repairing it (not that it was broken in the first place). Let's see how our strained relationship will be when my grass is two feet tall.

Fucked up at work last night. Apparently a guy who had a normal heart rhythm went into Rapid Atrial Flutter. Not necessarily life threatening but it would've been good if I had caught that. The girl that replaced me this morning had to scroll back and pinpoint exactly when it was I fucked up. I was in the wrong but I still don't like her. Or the job. Which I'll say like I have in past posts... I'm available! A Bachelor-graduate from an acredited university. Snatch me up right now before the offers come pouring in! Award winning artist, painter, photographer, graphic designer, published award-winning author, web developer, I do it all! Will relocate. Have home office featuring most tools needed.

Ah, whatever... Seacrest out.