One of the Blog Homeworks from the ever masterful @missy, @rambo, and @lyxzen reminded me of why I hate crushes. When I was younger I'd get one every year on a girl at my school. Which never failed to end in her telling me she didn't feel the same way. I always looked forward to the end. It meant I was free. My brain wouldn't be obsessing over someone else. I could get on with my life. Play videogames, do my homework, and not be depressed. I have seasonal depression and they always coincided with the winter and fall. Spring would come and I would tell the lady how I felt and she would finally set me free. Rejection is something I get over pretty quick. And since I was depressed when I liked her I never blamed the girl for not wanting me. I wouldn't have wanted me, why should she?

I hate crushes for the space they take up inside of me. They way I have no control over how I think. The way they make me feel hopeless. I'll always associate crushes with depression. And know that when it ends I'll feel free again to be myself.