We all have celebrity crushes. Those beautiful actors, musicians, and other famous people we would love to love. My current obsession is Anita Sarkeesian. She's smart, funny, a nerd who loves video games, and gorgeous. I probably imagine more scenarios if I dated her than are healthy. Like this one, "Anita, tell me about you're feelings." "But I have to collect all the Chaos Emeralds. Sonic needs my help!" Or, "Give me a kiss." "I'm too busy tearing down the patriarchy!" "Now, I'm hard." "You're such a weirdo." Or, "Let's play this new fighting game/FPS together." "Only if we play coop." "Why?" "Because when you kick my ass I'm going to feel emasculated and then we'll argue." "That's ridiculous! You obviously absorbed some weird masculine bullshit." "I know!" "We're agreeing don't yell at me when we agree!" "Fine! We'll play versus mode!" "Good!" *proceeds to get his ass kicked* "So do you feel emasculated?" "Strangely, I'm a little turned on." "You're so weird." Or, "Don't--No, don't go that way! What--Packy, give me the controller." "Why?" "Just let me do it. I can't stand to watch this any longer." Or, "Damnit! Fuck! Anitaaa! I need help. I can't get the last Chaos Emerald!" "Busy tearing down the patriarchy! And calling Zak Snyder out for being a terrible director. *pause* You have an erection don't you?" "No, but totally unrelated where are the towels?" "Gross." So those are my imaginary conversations with my current #1 celebrity crush. What are yours? Are they more ridiculous?
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