Im still in the christmas Sloath and greed mood, but the christmas state of mind has totally gone, i took my tree down on newyears day.Im in such a bad mood with myself. i was supposed to start a new year with a new slate, on a eattin plan too loose the 2 stone i put on last year and another stone and 1/2 i needed to loose before that, join the gym, be driving already and moved home...oh wait none of thats happened. can you blame me for being in a foul mood?
im so materialistic i admit it, i wana be slim and 'hot' to myself not to others, i want lots of nice new clothes and to grab a bargin in the sales, i want nice new furniture and stuff for my bedroom at my mums, which hasnt even been converted yet(the garage) and probs wont be for another 3 months+. i want this debt to go away and i just want to have passed my test. i know ive got time a full year in fact but i want it all and i want ti all right now! im such a brat.But seriously i deserve somethin good for once in mylife for fuck sake.
The slimming thing is pissing me off the most along with the debt, due to the debt(which is making me ill with worry)i cant afford to join the gym-i like the gym i hate doing stuff thats not in a gym as i slack off, i cant afford to do food shopping so im living of xmas grub and sweets and cant help it. i cant shake that state of mind off, i wana sleep eat and not be connected to my shitshitty life.ive realised i eat when im depressed, im an over eatter and ive been doing that for along time now. im not happy not even a lil.ive lost who i am and i wana find me again or a new before i turn 20...fuck 20.omg seriously i know its young but wtf. im panicin here.
where is the girl who loved life
im crying here and i have noone but a world of strangers whole probably wont even read this.
I want some freedom but i want most of all to enjoy being young again, i had to grow up way to fast and im sour about it. i want that incredible love, so that when ever i hear i love song i crave for that person. i dont even kiss him anymore and im not bothered.
Im still mighty obsessed with onetree hill its incredible! i watched up to season 4 part 10 *creams*
negative side im like a child obsessed with a band or toy, i want it all the time, i want that to be mylife.SOUR.
If i make a wish list anyone wana buy me something nice to cheer me up? if not i wont bother.
Hope your not all as bitter as me already this year.
fake smiles get you know where but misreable.
<3 this song
im so materialistic i admit it, i wana be slim and 'hot' to myself not to others, i want lots of nice new clothes and to grab a bargin in the sales, i want nice new furniture and stuff for my bedroom at my mums, which hasnt even been converted yet(the garage) and probs wont be for another 3 months+. i want this debt to go away and i just want to have passed my test. i know ive got time a full year in fact but i want it all and i want ti all right now! im such a brat.But seriously i deserve somethin good for once in mylife for fuck sake.
The slimming thing is pissing me off the most along with the debt, due to the debt(which is making me ill with worry)i cant afford to join the gym-i like the gym i hate doing stuff thats not in a gym as i slack off, i cant afford to do food shopping so im living of xmas grub and sweets and cant help it. i cant shake that state of mind off, i wana sleep eat and not be connected to my shitshitty life.ive realised i eat when im depressed, im an over eatter and ive been doing that for along time now. im not happy not even a lil.ive lost who i am and i wana find me again or a new before i turn 20...fuck 20.omg seriously i know its young but wtf. im panicin here.
where is the girl who loved life
im crying here and i have noone but a world of strangers whole probably wont even read this.I want some freedom but i want most of all to enjoy being young again, i had to grow up way to fast and im sour about it. i want that incredible love, so that when ever i hear i love song i crave for that person. i dont even kiss him anymore and im not bothered.
Im still mighty obsessed with onetree hill its incredible! i watched up to season 4 part 10 *creams*
negative side im like a child obsessed with a band or toy, i want it all the time, i want that to be mylife.SOUR.
If i make a wish list anyone wana buy me something nice to cheer me up? if not i wont bother.
Hope your not all as bitter as me already this year.
fake smiles get you know where but misreable.
<3 this song
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and i d like to add that you re really beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!