I would love to come on here and be like heeeey im so happy right now ive had a great day/week/month
that aint going to happen
im in this awful state of mind at the moment, which i am having great difficultly break free from.Im alone, my friends are far from reach and now more than acquaintances. Me and my guy arent getting on greatly and its breaking my heart. i have a day off work today and tomorrow so im trying to have a great think.
i have great thoughts of meeting new people and seeing them, hanging out and having this great fun filled life, but i sure am not convinced i will have that any time shortly. a new scene, new places where always in my mindset. but with a flat and a job> a job can i point out that is taking the real me futher from home everyday, i cant do anything so extravagant yet.
im trying to convince myself its a passing phase, maybe going to the gym and gettin off the junk food will by my first step at clearing my mind.
maybe this summer i should kick myself up the arse and do the stuff i want....
EDIT:
its a lil futher on into the day now. ive had weep and veged out. i decided that id go for a walk in the sun that decided to show its self agian after a weekend of rain, to clear my head a lil.
i could feel the warm glow of the sun on my cheeks, and the view around my area is beautiful, minus houses the grassed area, beautiful trees of all kinds standing tall, different shades of green and yellows and the blossom that lay on the ground(would be fantastic for my 1st set), and i just took a breath.
i collected some daisies and thought about when i was young, making cakes with mud, purfume with flower petals and water and knecklases out of daisies, so as the toehr are messy i did that, off my front lawn i collected them and made a chain.its nice to think of the times when a smile couldnt be taken from you.
what i need to do is photography, i love taking photos and not even having a digital camara at the moment is driving me mad. a pen and paper, a camara, a beautiful day. time to capture some thoughts.
i feel alot better than this morning. i guess you can just get caught in bad thoughts. but i need to turn that around, you can loose your self sometimes and i think i have, gotta get back to the gemma i know and what to be and not let, family my partner or job stand in the way of that.
start on the path of where i want to go because its not gonna happen itself. maybe tomorrow ill feel the same as i did this morning but a day at a time ey?
that aint going to happen
im in this awful state of mind at the moment, which i am having great difficultly break free from.Im alone, my friends are far from reach and now more than acquaintances. Me and my guy arent getting on greatly and its breaking my heart. i have a day off work today and tomorrow so im trying to have a great think.
i have great thoughts of meeting new people and seeing them, hanging out and having this great fun filled life, but i sure am not convinced i will have that any time shortly. a new scene, new places where always in my mindset. but with a flat and a job> a job can i point out that is taking the real me futher from home everyday, i cant do anything so extravagant yet.
im trying to convince myself its a passing phase, maybe going to the gym and gettin off the junk food will by my first step at clearing my mind.
maybe this summer i should kick myself up the arse and do the stuff i want....
EDIT:
its a lil futher on into the day now. ive had weep and veged out. i decided that id go for a walk in the sun that decided to show its self agian after a weekend of rain, to clear my head a lil.
i could feel the warm glow of the sun on my cheeks, and the view around my area is beautiful, minus houses the grassed area, beautiful trees of all kinds standing tall, different shades of green and yellows and the blossom that lay on the ground(would be fantastic for my 1st set), and i just took a breath.
i collected some daisies and thought about when i was young, making cakes with mud, purfume with flower petals and water and knecklases out of daisies, so as the toehr are messy i did that, off my front lawn i collected them and made a chain.its nice to think of the times when a smile couldnt be taken from you.
what i need to do is photography, i love taking photos and not even having a digital camara at the moment is driving me mad. a pen and paper, a camara, a beautiful day. time to capture some thoughts.
i feel alot better than this morning. i guess you can just get caught in bad thoughts. but i need to turn that around, you can loose your self sometimes and i think i have, gotta get back to the gemma i know and what to be and not let, family my partner or job stand in the way of that.
start on the path of where i want to go because its not gonna happen itself. maybe tomorrow ill feel the same as i did this morning but a day at a time ey?
you can always email me if you need to talk etc xxx