Well, not even 2 weeks after burying my father, I had to put my cat down. We've had him almost as long as we've been together. He was 17-18 years old and the last couple of years he developed kidney issues and has slowly gone downhill. But, he took a turn for the worse scarily quick the last 2 days. His little yowl of suffering will haunt me for the rest of my life because I couldn't do anything for him to ease his pain. We made the painful decision (for us) to end his suffering and it was the shittiest feeling decision I've ever had to make.

I've been called a "heartless machine" . . . an "emotionless bastard" . . . well, you get the idea. Today, I've wept like a baby throughout the day and don't see that stopping any time soon. And I honestly don't give a rat's ass if anyone sees that or not. He was an absolutely fabulous cat and our lives will be so much emptier without him around.

I just needed to dump this out to help me process and heal. Hug your pets and give them some treats.