thedishwasher

at risk of sounding whiney and repetative i need to vent about my ex some more... i was actually getting to this place where i was happy and didnt even feel that alone.... and then tonight shit hit the fan and i feel so broken.... he imed me, i couldnt see what he said cause aim was sucking it up, but he signed off before i could ask what he said, so i called him, bad move on my part.... we talked for quite a while, he told me how depressed he is and how he wants to die and how i never treated him well, that i was just a liar (i admit i lied to him before, i tried unsuccessfully to quit smoking, cheated, smoked, and tried to hide my weakness from him) i spent the past hour on the phone trying to convince him hes not worthless and apoligizing for not treating him better.... i know damn well i treated him better than he deserved, but he has a way of making me feel guilty for things i didnt even do.... ugh.... another good mood down the drain

edited to clarify: i never cheated on my ex, i referred to cheating as in smoking a cig when i was trying to quit... sorry if that caused any confusion or what not