80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?" The old timer said, "I'm a golfer & that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight & out golfing up and down the fairways.
The doctor...
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The doctor...
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brite_red_scream:
my ex husband never wanted to wear his ring...and it pissed me off too...but only because i asked him...if i bought him a ring would he wear it....and he said "of course....i'll wear it everyday...i'll never take it off" so i went and spent a pretty penny on that damn ring...put a lot of heart into it and inscribed Soulmate in latin on the outside and the english translation on the inside...and that bastard kept it in his car ash tray! now...that's WHy i made a big deal about it! cause i could have saved myself a whole hell of a lot of money and the effort too!
Five reasons to believe computers are male:
1)They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2)They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
3)As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4)In order to get their attention, you have...
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1)They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2)They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
3)As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4)In order to get their attention, you have...
Read More
sydni:
perfect list. 
have fun and stay safe. remember to wear a watch if you actually want to sleep. there's no clocks in casinos.
have fun and stay safe. remember to wear a watch if you actually want to sleep. there's no clocks in casinos.
rachelrain:
thanks!
What's going on in the car forums?
Bentley Forums
- - - I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?
Camaro/Firebird Forums
- - - My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I have a record and I ain't going back.
Mustang (Chevelle) forums
- - -Some punk kid in a Civic tried to...
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Bentley Forums
- - - I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?
Camaro/Firebird Forums
- - - My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I have a record and I ain't going back.
Mustang (Chevelle) forums
- - -Some punk kid in a Civic tried to...
Read More
drewelusive:
I'm still spriting the "Drew". I use that for my web design/cam/personal site. I like to keep my writing and personal life seperate. 
night:
i have a vw golf
xoxo
xoxo
The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the...
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"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
poem:
I oh so enjoy your little stories 
drewelusive:
Ha! That was cute.
A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them totally confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench. Two of the men had black penises, but the one seated in the middle, had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized the confused couple were having trouble with interpreting...
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The curator of the gallery realized the confused couple were having trouble with interpreting...
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sydni:
at it again I see???? yeah girls making out!! it's been awhile since I've made out with a hot chick.....hmmm...
yeah girls making out!! it's been awhile since I've made out with a hot chick.....hmmm...
poem:
hahaha to the painting joke
Questions and answers about women
Q. Why did God give men penises?
A. So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your check.
Q. How is a woman like a laxative?
A. They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q....
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Q. Why did God give men penises?
A. So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your check.
Q. How is a woman like a laxative?
A. They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q....
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
greatalphawolf:
Awesome!!!! 
sydni:
and mr. right will have to wait....and the gym will have to wait too!
and mr. right will have to wait....and the gym will have to wait too! 20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You've got Windows in your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his...
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19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You've got Windows in your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his...
Read More
rhyn:
[Edited on Dec 02, 2004 10:59AM]
[Edited on Dec 02, 2004 10:59AM]
rhyn:
I think you like that name for your own son. Question ASS WIPE.
The couple was 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
foolycooly:
That photo i took myself, of myself, its in front of my house in safety bay, about 45 mins south of perth in western australia. Glad you liked it.
brite_red_scream:
dAmMNNnnNN!!! $625 for a car payment...that's CRaZy! i'm so spoiled with my $265 payment. but i only have a honda...but i LOVE that damn car...someday i'll move up to the BMW...hopefully in like 5 more years...i'll be able to get my house and dream car...ahh...that will be the life.
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool...
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She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool...
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rhyn:
[Edited on Dec 02, 2004 10:58AM]
[Edited on Dec 02, 2004 10:58AM]
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW
Bought My Wife
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT
Fix It All the Time
FORD
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
GM
General Maintenance
GMC
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
MAZDA
Most...
Read More
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW
Bought My Wife
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT
Fix It All the Time
FORD
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
GM
General Maintenance
GMC
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
MAZDA
Most...
Read More
rhyn:
[Edited on Dec 02, 2004 10:58AM]
[Edited on Dec 02, 2004 10:58AM]