10 Things Men Won't Say
1) Let's watch Lifetime!
2) Sex is overrated.
3) I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4) Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours.
5) There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.
6) I'm glad I don't have a large penis.
7) My hips are...
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1) Let's watch Lifetime!
2) Sex is overrated.
3) I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4) Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours.
5) There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.
6) I'm glad I don't have a large penis.
7) My hips are...
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Famous People Say the Darndest Things
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette
"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything...
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"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette
"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything...
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skeneo:
thanks for the hello and also cool picture you got were is it from it seams familier. later
skeneo:
thanks for telling me i knew id seen him somewere
Little Kid's Books
'You Were an Accident'
'Strangers Have the Best Candy'
'The Little Sissy Who Snitched'
'Some Kittens Can Fly!'
'The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion'
'How to Dress Sexy for Grownups'
'Getting More Chocolate on Your Face'
'Where Would You Like to Be Buried?'
'Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her'
'The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals...
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'You Were an Accident'
'Strangers Have the Best Candy'
'The Little Sissy Who Snitched'
'Some Kittens Can Fly!'
'The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion'
'How to Dress Sexy for Grownups'
'Getting More Chocolate on Your Face'
'Where Would You Like to Be Buried?'
'Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her'
'The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals...
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rachelrain:
yeah. i just emailed him, too. this should be entertaining.
rachelrain:
oh, i promise. i think i might make this a regular thing. it's amazing how well he handled it...maybe he runs into a lot of girls he should know but doesn't remember. although in my case it was all fiction. hee.
Time to update again... I just finished my final paper. I think I may get an A in this class! YAY, no slippage of GPA hopefully. I have 4 classes that start on Tuesday, and I'm not sure what I was thinking signing up for so many.
We had a pot luck at work today. I stuck to an all meat diet except for about...
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We had a pot luck at work today. I stuck to an all meat diet except for about...
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rachelrain:
not so bad, actually.
family dinner...sushi. good times had by all. tired. must sleep. ee.
family dinner...sushi. good times had by all. tired. must sleep. ee.
andromeda:
Ahh yes a three day weekend. Time to get dirty! 
Way to finish up things, you seem damn smart to me I'm sure you did great! I'm not sure about beans are you on Atkins or something?
Way to finish up things, you seem damn smart to me I'm sure you did great! I'm not sure about beans are you on Atkins or something?10 Reasons Not to Live in Connecticut
10) You have to explain to most foreigners that you either live close to New York or Boston
9) Having to live next to New York
8) The two most famous people to come out of Connecticut were a con man who ran a freak show and a man who was the primary cause of the Civil War...
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10) You have to explain to most foreigners that you either live close to New York or Boston
9) Having to live next to New York
8) The two most famous people to come out of Connecticut were a con man who ran a freak show and a man who was the primary cause of the Civil War...
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hellomrworld:
i definitely rooted for deep blue 
)
)
hellomrworld:
how old are your kids ... maybe should get Netflix or unlimited Hollywood Video or Blockbuster )
) Alexander and Kermit
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle name.
Barbie Turns 40
Yes, it's hard to believe, but in 1999 Barbie will turn 40, just in time to greet the new century. And they've been 40 full, rich years. She began as a glamorous airline stewardess when she was introduced at Toy Fair in 1959.She soared...
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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle name.
Barbie Turns 40
Yes, it's hard to believe, but in 1999 Barbie will turn 40, just in time to greet the new century. And they've been 40 full, rich years. She began as a glamorous airline stewardess when she was introduced at Toy Fair in 1959.She soared...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
esther:
hooray for school!
i wanna be a radio star someday. whatchoo gonna be?!
i wanna be a radio star someday. whatchoo gonna be?!
andromeda:
Oh yes white trash Barbie. I love reading your journal. You sound just like my friend who works in the jail. He loves hitting the scum bags in the head and kicking their ass. I love hearing the stories.
[Edited on Jan 13, 2005 10:37PM]
Oh yes white trash Barbie. I love reading your journal. You sound just like my friend who works in the jail. He loves hitting the scum bags in the head and kicking their ass. I love hearing the stories.
[Edited on Jan 13, 2005 10:37PM]
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a...
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1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a...
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VIEW 25 of 30 COMMENTS
annamei:
i definatly don't want your job. dealing with shoplifters and employees who steal was bad enough let alone convicted felons. 
please make sure your wifey comes to the movie night
please make sure your wifey comes to the movie night
doolittle:
sorry, i am giddy that i have yet another thing in school to be a complete nerd over.
Good, Bad, Worse
Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other
Worse: And your wife.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The techer is a he.
Good: You go home for a quickie.
Bad: you get caught by your wife
Worse: You're with her sister.
Six Most Important Men...
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Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other
Worse: And your wife.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The techer is a he.
Good: You go home for a quickie.
Bad: you get caught by your wife
Worse: You're with her sister.
Six Most Important Men...
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doolittle:
huzzah! for video games.
noctem:
Hey, sorry I missed you tonight man, gonna be on later this weekend at all? If so, let me know. My girlfriend got her own account now, so if you see my name online, it'll be me for sure , late....
, late....Top 20 Reasons Why Chocolate is Better Than Sex
20) With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good.
19) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
15) You can have...
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20) With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good.
19) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
15) You can have...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
snowballinhell:
Ah yes, I'm so with you on the twin thing - from one twin parent to another, ain't they just wonderful 
Except of course when they're trying to kill each other, or is that just because I've got twin boys And oh my, yes the amount of laundry 
Smooches
Michelle xx
Except of course when they're trying to kill each other, or is that just because I've got twin boys And oh my, yes the amount of laundry
Smooches
Michelle xx
noctem:
Yeah, I don't know what I need to do. I think I just need a big change. I'm moving in a couple months, so maybe that'll do it. Later this year, around August, I'm taking off to Australia for a while. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but that's what I really need right now. I think I'm feeling stuck because I haven't been traveling lately. I usually go a lot of places, but recently I've been pretty domestic. I need that release and sense of freedom. It's so ingrained into me, it's like a drug. I feel like a fucking junkie looking for a fix. But that's a long ways away. I'll have to figure out some way to bide my time until then. Late....
Fun Things to Do at a Drive-Thru
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window...
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1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
andromeda:
Your journal rock. You always make me laugh out loud! I'd be scared of the Atkins. I'm a carb junkie. I love bread! I've heard it works great. So tell me how did you become so damn funny?
noctem:
Yeah, the new storyline is a little more tame I think. It seems like they're trying to make it a little more realistic by centering on Jackie's mafia relations. But you're right, in the first series he was a fucking nut. I mean, he crucified the Magdalena inside a church!! Along with 3 other nuns. That's some crazy shit. But I have to admit, I kinda dropped off of the Darkness for a while after Benitez left. I missed the whole story about Frankie killing Jenny and Jackie blowing everything to hell. Oh well though, I hope they do get someone else to start penciling it though. I don't think that the guy they got right now goes well with the book. His art is really rough and, well, for lack of a better word, ugly. Keown was good though. It took me a while to get used to his stuff, but now I really like it a lot. Okay man, I gotta go to work, late....
hope your 1st day of class was a good one
and i think matt would probably agree with supergp on #5