Join the Club!
A baby seal walks into a club.
I'll repeat myself. A baby seal walks into a club.
Man Finds Hat, Religion!
A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal one off of the hat rack. When he gets there, the priest was giving his sermon on the Ten Commandments. Something in the sermon gives the man a flash of insight and, after mass, the man goes to confession to tell the priest what he was going to do...
Man: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Father: Go ahead, son.
Man: I lost my hat and I came to church today to steal a hat off of the rack.
Father: Is that so?
Man: But then I heard you talking about the Ten Commandments - and I changed my mind.
Father: Really? My son, did you make this decision when I was discussing the commandment: "Thou shalt not steal?"
Man: No. It was when you started talking about, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" that I remembered where my hat was!
Grosser than gross.. underwear
What's grosser than gross?
When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall.
What's grosser than that?
When you come back an hour later and it's moved up three feet
Condom Size Tester
A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk.
"Gee, I don't know."
"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.
Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves.
A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.
"What size?" The kid embarassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"
Daddy, What Is Sex?
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, ''Daddy, what is sex?''
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.''
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
Her father said, ''Why did you ask that question, honey?''
She replied, ''Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.''
Why is that the majority of the people are against Valentines Day? I am for one don't really care about this day. To me, it is just like any other day. It inspires competativness against mates, one gets an expensive object for the other; then you feel obligated to return the gift with a equal or greater one of value. I guess you can celebrate this day as you like, everyone should just get fat on chocolate.
Henshin a -go-go-baby.
A baby seal walks into a club.
I'll repeat myself. A baby seal walks into a club.
Man Finds Hat, Religion!
A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal one off of the hat rack. When he gets there, the priest was giving his sermon on the Ten Commandments. Something in the sermon gives the man a flash of insight and, after mass, the man goes to confession to tell the priest what he was going to do...
Man: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Father: Go ahead, son.
Man: I lost my hat and I came to church today to steal a hat off of the rack.
Father: Is that so?
Man: But then I heard you talking about the Ten Commandments - and I changed my mind.
Father: Really? My son, did you make this decision when I was discussing the commandment: "Thou shalt not steal?"
Man: No. It was when you started talking about, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" that I remembered where my hat was!
Grosser than gross.. underwear
What's grosser than gross?
When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall.
What's grosser than that?
When you come back an hour later and it's moved up three feet
Condom Size Tester
A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk.
"Gee, I don't know."
"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.
Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves.
A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.
"What size?" The kid embarassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"
Daddy, What Is Sex?
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, ''Daddy, what is sex?''
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.''
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
Her father said, ''Why did you ask that question, honey?''
She replied, ''Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.''
Why is that the majority of the people are against Valentines Day? I am for one don't really care about this day. To me, it is just like any other day. It inspires competativness against mates, one gets an expensive object for the other; then you feel obligated to return the gift with a equal or greater one of value. I guess you can celebrate this day as you like, everyone should just get fat on chocolate.
Henshin a -go-go-baby.
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Fred cooked and we watched antique porn.