Choking
A father walks into a book store with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"
"No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."
Top 10 Reasons why some Men prefer Guns over Women
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for a backup.
#6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3. A handgun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2. A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman
#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.
A lot of changes are happening at my place of employment. The Director is having a open door session with all line staff over the next few weeks, so basically, it is a bitch session. This last week and a half, I was running shift as O.I.C. I learned a lot of things that I could bring up to him. They sent out a memorandum stating a few of the topics that they want to discuss and hopefully we can shedd some light on the problems we have.
A father walks into a book store with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"
"No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."
Top 10 Reasons why some Men prefer Guns over Women
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for a backup.
#6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3. A handgun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2. A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman
#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.
A lot of changes are happening at my place of employment. The Director is having a open door session with all line staff over the next few weeks, so basically, it is a bitch session. This last week and a half, I was running shift as O.I.C. I learned a lot of things that I could bring up to him. They sent out a memorandum stating a few of the topics that they want to discuss and hopefully we can shedd some light on the problems we have.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
gosh i love reading you journal...where do you get all of this???
(or do you not want to let on to your secret joke stash
I'm trying to talk him into letting me try out. He's not completely against the idea but its going to take some time to wear him down. Ha