Efficiency Expert
The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. ''You don't want to try these techniques at home.''
''Why not?'' asked someone from the back of the audience. ''I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years,'' the expert explained.
''She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'''
The voice from the back asked, ''Did it save time?''
The expert replied, ''Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven.'''
Brain Transplant
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ''Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.''
''Well, how much does a brain cost?'' asked the relatives.
''For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,'' replied the doctor.
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, ''Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?''
''Standard pricing practice,'' said the doctor. ''Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used.''
My wife and I went out last night with some friends that came down from California and we went to everones favorite place "Famous Sam's."
I didn't leave from it this time upset, actually, I quite enjoyed myself. I played pool with some guys and I figured that I suck at pool. I used to play pool while I was younger and was quite proficent in it, but old age prevails and lost the touch.
Saw my little brothers ex and sh waived at me, expecting a salutation in return, I flipped her off. Not my favorite person right now.
Hoped everyone had fun bowling last night, I wish we had went.
Henshin a-go-go baby.
The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. ''You don't want to try these techniques at home.''
''Why not?'' asked someone from the back of the audience. ''I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years,'' the expert explained.
''She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'''
The voice from the back asked, ''Did it save time?''
The expert replied, ''Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven.'''
Brain Transplant
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ''Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.''
''Well, how much does a brain cost?'' asked the relatives.
''For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,'' replied the doctor.
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, ''Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?''
''Standard pricing practice,'' said the doctor. ''Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used.''
My wife and I went out last night with some friends that came down from California and we went to everones favorite place "Famous Sam's."
I didn't leave from it this time upset, actually, I quite enjoyed myself. I played pool with some guys and I figured that I suck at pool. I used to play pool while I was younger and was quite proficent in it, but old age prevails and lost the touch.
Saw my little brothers ex and sh waived at me, expecting a salutation in return, I flipped her off. Not my favorite person right now.
Hoped everyone had fun bowling last night, I wish we had went.
Henshin a-go-go baby.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
vlo:
whichi s why i can no longer drink tequila after my work xmas party. last month is was black out bad.. ikeep hearing things i did, i stilldont remember. i just say now u are making it up 
vlo:
money man ,.mmmmm...mami likey what she hears,, chaching chaching