Job Interview
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.
Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT". It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich for speed."
He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep,
TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit in my pants.
HE GOT THE JOB
Today is the day, yes Halo 2uesday. Also we are going to have my twins pizza party tonight. So if anyone wants pizza, stop by and have a slice.
I have this war going on at work, it started with all of us at work playing practical jokes on each other. It has escalated too the point where we are scrweing with each others vehicles. At first she-the person I am at war with, is female- messed with my backpack by taking my pencils and hiding them. So, in turn, I put ketchup and mustard in the door handles of her vehicle. She stoled my work i.d. and taped it to my vehicle along with numerous tampons. So what I am going to do is get shrink wrap, the industrial type, and some duct tape, and her vehicle...then use your imagination.
When this happens, be sure I will post pics.
Have fun all and I will see you all online with Halo 2.
Henshin A-go-go baby.
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.
Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT". It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich for speed."
He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep,
TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit in my pants.
HE GOT THE JOB
Today is the day, yes Halo 2uesday. Also we are going to have my twins pizza party tonight. So if anyone wants pizza, stop by and have a slice.
I have this war going on at work, it started with all of us at work playing practical jokes on each other. It has escalated too the point where we are scrweing with each others vehicles. At first she-the person I am at war with, is female- messed with my backpack by taking my pencils and hiding them. So, in turn, I put ketchup and mustard in the door handles of her vehicle. She stoled my work i.d. and taped it to my vehicle along with numerous tampons. So what I am going to do is get shrink wrap, the industrial type, and some duct tape, and her vehicle...then use your imagination.
When this happens, be sure I will post pics.
Have fun all and I will see you all online with Halo 2.
Henshin A-go-go baby.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
annamei:
yikes! practical jokes can be fun but you have to be careful sometimes it goes a little to far, then someone takes it personally. practical joke responsibly 
noctem:
Cool, my tag is karpe noctem. I don't have any friends on live yet, so you can be my first. Late....
Late....