A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.
The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?"
The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
The woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.
One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"
"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous.
Well today is my birthday
(I hate birthdays) To celebrate, my wife and I will be heading down to Tucson and going to have lunch at this resturant I saw on The Food Network's $40-dollars-a-day with Racheal Ray-she is so freaking hot- and then go to the movies and see Alien vs. Predator, then to back up tp Eloy and have a dinner with my family-tomorrow is the anniversery of my grandfathers passing-so the entire family will be there. I hope everyone has a good day and smile-it makes people uneasy.
The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?"
The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
The woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.
One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"
"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous.
Well today is my birthday

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
poem:
Maybe next time
I really like the Alice one and the purple one's a little more expensive

rachelrain:
thanks! i'm trying to figure out how that conversation would start. "ya see, dad, there's this website with the naked chix..." 
