Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't:
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Put it in my box before you leave.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!
5. HMMMMMMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there.
The theatrical Agent
The theatrical agent, trying to sell a new strip act to a night-club manager, was raving about the girl's unbelievable 72-26-40 figure.
"What kind of a dance does she do?" the manager asked, duly impressed by the description of the girl's dimensions.
"Well, she doesn't actually dance at all," the agent replied. "She just crawls out onto the stage and tries to stand up!"
Two men camping
Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."
The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.
That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and
dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp. "Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?"
"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."
The Accident
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So.... you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God
that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God."
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are evil. Don't mess with them.
Okay, everyone in the house is/ has been sick. The boy and girl and and Missdates have/had pink eye in the last few days. So I am trying to do everything I possibly can and try not to get sick.
We had night shoot last night and it was so much fun! I have found that the more we shoot, the better I get. When we first started to shoot, I was shooting about a 225 out of 250. The second time we shot, it rose to about 235 out of 250. Last night I shot 250 out of 250, a perfect score. It was such a good feeling.
Here is what happens when you are, (6), six, (3) three and clumsy as all bloody hell.
We had some drama this week, we had, (3), three cadets that were dismissed from the academy, with, (1), one have assualt charges brought up against him. What had happened was that, (1), one of the cadets playfully slapped the other cadet in the face after the second one made a comment about fat people. The first cadet didn't like the comment coming from a skinny person, who had no idea of what it is like to be fat. So the Director found out about it and called their agency and then found out about the third cadet and what he did.
The third cadet was driving home and was cut off by a driver somewhere up in the Phoenix area. The cadets who drive to the college are issued marked vehicles and this one basically pulled over the guy who cut him off, something you are NOT supposed to do, seeing that we are not certified Officers yet. Needless to say, it was self inflicted and the funny thing was all, (3), three of them were from the same agency.
Some peoples kids.
Henshin a go-go kids.
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't:
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Put it in my box before you leave.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!
5. HMMMMMMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there.
The theatrical Agent
The theatrical agent, trying to sell a new strip act to a night-club manager, was raving about the girl's unbelievable 72-26-40 figure.
"What kind of a dance does she do?" the manager asked, duly impressed by the description of the girl's dimensions.
"Well, she doesn't actually dance at all," the agent replied. "She just crawls out onto the stage and tries to stand up!"
Two men camping
Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."
The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.
That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and
dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp. "Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?"
"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."
The Accident
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So.... you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God
that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God."
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are evil. Don't mess with them.
Okay, everyone in the house is/ has been sick. The boy and girl and and Missdates have/had pink eye in the last few days. So I am trying to do everything I possibly can and try not to get sick.
We had night shoot last night and it was so much fun! I have found that the more we shoot, the better I get. When we first started to shoot, I was shooting about a 225 out of 250. The second time we shot, it rose to about 235 out of 250. Last night I shot 250 out of 250, a perfect score. It was such a good feeling.
Here is what happens when you are, (6), six, (3) three and clumsy as all bloody hell.
We had some drama this week, we had, (3), three cadets that were dismissed from the academy, with, (1), one have assualt charges brought up against him. What had happened was that, (1), one of the cadets playfully slapped the other cadet in the face after the second one made a comment about fat people. The first cadet didn't like the comment coming from a skinny person, who had no idea of what it is like to be fat. So the Director found out about it and called their agency and then found out about the third cadet and what he did.
The third cadet was driving home and was cut off by a driver somewhere up in the Phoenix area. The cadets who drive to the college are issued marked vehicles and this one basically pulled over the guy who cut him off, something you are NOT supposed to do, seeing that we are not certified Officers yet. Needless to say, it was self inflicted and the funny thing was all, (3), three of them were from the same agency.
Some peoples kids.
Henshin a go-go kids.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
mistressvamp:
Hello dear I came to my moms to use her puter so I thought I would stop in and say hey. Hope all is well. 
esther:
You're so sweet!