If you have a joke or a good story to share please mail it to me!
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she...
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A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
poem:
you should feel special! The last thing I ever feel like doing on my day off is typing 
missdates:
Did you get the express written permission for the picture you are using?
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No."
So she unwrapped the package, took one...
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So she unwrapped the package, took one...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
annamei:
unless you opted not to have your kiddies vaccinated they probably won't have the pox or measles. thank god i don't have them. its a HUGE relief 
vlo:
You know what i look like,that pic is me...
Italian Bread
The 87 year old said; "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any Italian bread?"
She said, "Yes,...
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The 87 year old said; "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any Italian bread?"
She said, "Yes,...
Read More
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
snowballinhell:
Oops, double posting!
[Edited on Jan 25, 2005 4:55PM]
[Edited on Jan 25, 2005 4:55PM]
snowballinhell:
Isn't it just, I pee'd myself the first time I saw it. Stupid squirrel 
Smooches
Michelle xx
Smooches
Michelle xx
Free Sex
The owner of a gasoline station in Tattnall County, Georgia was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a billboard showing "FREE SEX WITH FILL-UP!"
Soon a local young man, Jim filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.
The owner told him "pick a number froom 1 to 10; if you pick the right number, you will get...
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The owner of a gasoline station in Tattnall County, Georgia was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a billboard showing "FREE SEX WITH FILL-UP!"
Soon a local young man, Jim filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.
The owner told him "pick a number froom 1 to 10; if you pick the right number, you will get...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
dane_valek:
Its pretty fun, definitely worth a check out. A little limited on weapon selection, and such. The world is absolutely amazing though. Great Free former.
I never really got into the whole resident evil series. Devil may cry was the only game with the pre-rendered background cinematic camera thing that i could really enjoy. I was still kind of confused when nintendo got exclusive rights to the series.
I never really got into the whole resident evil series. Devil may cry was the only game with the pre-rendered background cinematic camera thing that i could really enjoy. I was still kind of confused when nintendo got exclusive rights to the series.
rhyn:
Sounds like a waste of money to me!!!
Moral
A teacher gave her 5th grade class an assignment: They were to have their parents tell them a story with a moral. The next day the kids came to class, and one by one, told their stories:
Little Kathy raised her hand first and said, "We live on a farm and have hens that lay eggs for market. Once we were taking a basket...
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A teacher gave her 5th grade class an assignment: They were to have their parents tell them a story with a moral. The next day the kids came to class, and one by one, told their stories:
Little Kathy raised her hand first and said, "We live on a farm and have hens that lay eggs for market. Once we were taking a basket...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
noctem:
That's some funny shit man. Good luck with the education. Have fun. Hey, are you going to be on Live tonight? If so, send me an invite. Late.....
That's some funny shit man. Good luck with the education. Have fun. Hey, are you going to be on Live tonight? If so, send me an invite. Late.....
supergp:
Well, if you need any help with the math thingie, lemme know.
I'm somewhat good with the maths.
I'm somewhat good with the maths.
10 Things Men Won't Say
1) Let's watch Lifetime!
2) Sex is overrated.
3) I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4) Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours.
5) There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.
6) I'm glad I don't have a large penis.
7) My hips are...
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1) Let's watch Lifetime!
2) Sex is overrated.
3) I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4) Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours.
5) There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.
6) I'm glad I don't have a large penis.
7) My hips are...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
doolittle:
apparently i can;t figure out how to use this confounded computer thing
Famous People Say the Darndest Things
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette
"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything...
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"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette
"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
skeneo:
thanks for the hello and also cool picture you got were is it from it seams familier. later
skeneo:
thanks for telling me i knew id seen him somewere
Little Kid's Books
'You Were an Accident'
'Strangers Have the Best Candy'
'The Little Sissy Who Snitched'
'Some Kittens Can Fly!'
'The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion'
'How to Dress Sexy for Grownups'
'Getting More Chocolate on Your Face'
'Where Would You Like to Be Buried?'
'Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her'
'The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals...
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'You Were an Accident'
'Strangers Have the Best Candy'
'The Little Sissy Who Snitched'
'Some Kittens Can Fly!'
'The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion'
'How to Dress Sexy for Grownups'
'Getting More Chocolate on Your Face'
'Where Would You Like to Be Buried?'
'Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her'
'The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
rachelrain:
yeah. i just emailed him, too. this should be entertaining.
rachelrain:
oh, i promise. i think i might make this a regular thing. it's amazing how well he handled it...maybe he runs into a lot of girls he should know but doesn't remember. although in my case it was all fiction. hee.
Time to update again... I just finished my final paper. I think I may get an A in this class! YAY, no slippage of GPA hopefully. I have 4 classes that start on Tuesday, and I'm not sure what I was thinking signing up for so many.
We had a pot luck at work today. I stuck to an all meat diet except for about...
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We had a pot luck at work today. I stuck to an all meat diet except for about...
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rachelrain:
not so bad, actually.
family dinner...sushi. good times had by all. tired. must sleep. ee.
family dinner...sushi. good times had by all. tired. must sleep. ee.
andromeda:
Ahh yes a three day weekend. Time to get dirty! 
Way to finish up things, you seem damn smart to me I'm sure you did great! I'm not sure about beans are you on Atkins or something?
Way to finish up things, you seem damn smart to me I'm sure you did great! I'm not sure about beans are you on Atkins or something?10 Reasons Not to Live in Connecticut
10) You have to explain to most foreigners that you either live close to New York or Boston
9) Having to live next to New York
8) The two most famous people to come out of Connecticut were a con man who ran a freak show and a man who was the primary cause of the Civil War...
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10) You have to explain to most foreigners that you either live close to New York or Boston
9) Having to live next to New York
8) The two most famous people to come out of Connecticut were a con man who ran a freak show and a man who was the primary cause of the Civil War...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
hellomrworld:
i definitely rooted for deep blue )
)
hellomrworld:
how old are your kids ... maybe should get Netflix or unlimited Hollywood Video or Blockbuster )
) Alexander and Kermit
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle name.
Barbie Turns 40
Yes, it's hard to believe, but in 1999 Barbie will turn 40, just in time to greet the new century. And they've been 40 full, rich years. She began as a glamorous airline stewardess when she was introduced at Toy Fair in 1959.She soared...
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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle name.
Barbie Turns 40
Yes, it's hard to believe, but in 1999 Barbie will turn 40, just in time to greet the new century. And they've been 40 full, rich years. She began as a glamorous airline stewardess when she was introduced at Toy Fair in 1959.She soared...
Read More
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
esther:
hooray for school!
i wanna be a radio star someday. whatchoo gonna be?!
i wanna be a radio star someday. whatchoo gonna be?!
andromeda:
Oh yes white trash Barbie. I love reading your journal. You sound just like my friend who works in the jail. He loves hitting the scum bags in the head and kicking their ass. I love hearing the stories.
[Edited on Jan 13, 2005 10:37PM]
Oh yes white trash Barbie. I love reading your journal. You sound just like my friend who works in the jail. He loves hitting the scum bags in the head and kicking their ass. I love hearing the stories.
[Edited on Jan 13, 2005 10:37PM]
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a...
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1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 30 COMMENTS
annamei:
i definatly don't want your job. dealing with shoplifters and employees who steal was bad enough let alone convicted felons. 
please make sure your wifey comes to the movie night
please make sure your wifey comes to the movie night
doolittle:
sorry, i am giddy that i have yet another thing in school to be a complete nerd over.