John & Marsha!
John & Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"There's a car being towed from the parking...
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John & Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"There's a car being towed from the parking...
Read More
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
andromeda:
You are so damn funny! I luv your nervous twitches 
I hugged my doggie for you! 
I hugged my doggie for you! 
squishylizards:
You weren't far off 
Sex Advice
Sex is like a card game - if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand!
Five Pound Fly
How do you get five pounds of meat out of a fly?
Unzip It!
10 Ways To Tell You're From New Hampshire
10) You married your cousin's brother's wife
9) Your only belief is Live Free or Die.
8) You...
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Sex is like a card game - if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand!
Five Pound Fly
How do you get five pounds of meat out of a fly?
Unzip It!
10 Ways To Tell You're From New Hampshire
10) You married your cousin's brother's wife
9) Your only belief is Live Free or Die.
8) You...
Read More
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
ms:
I prefer the term Mexican-American but Hispanic will suffice. 
That is a fucked up ass April Fools Day Joke. Funny, but definitely fucked up. I like it.
That is a fucked up ass April Fools Day Joke. Funny, but definitely fucked up. I like it.
snowballinhell:
Thanks sweetie, I hope you and missdates have a good one with the kids too Just remember - don't eat too much chocolate
Smooches
Michelle xx
Just remember - don't eat too much chocolate
Smooches
Michelle xx
Crazy Clone Humor
There are 2 clones, one of the clones is real nice and well mannered, while the other one is real nasty and mean and always says bad words. So one day the 'good' clone pushes the 'bad' clone off the roof of a building.
The next day the police came to his house and arrest him for making an "obscene clone fall"!...
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There are 2 clones, one of the clones is real nice and well mannered, while the other one is real nasty and mean and always says bad words. So one day the 'good' clone pushes the 'bad' clone off the roof of a building.
The next day the police came to his house and arrest him for making an "obscene clone fall"!...
Read More
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
annamei:
i think i would have wanted to kick your ass if she went along with that joke 
noctem:
Dude, did you check that thing out in Gangrel's journal that I told you about?
Two Tall Trees
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a...
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Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
supergp:
See? You are attractive.
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to...
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"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
snowballinhell:
I have to agree with you on number 4, that's the reason I don't dance. I look a fool
Smooches
Michelle xx
Smooches
Michelle xx
supergp:
Ooooo! What comic books?
Also, Mary is awfully compliant.
Also, Mary is awfully compliant.
Annoying Boy on Bus
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a...
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A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
noctem:
Hehe, fair enough....
noctem:
Yes, I don't like the origional though, because I can't stand Gene Wilder or however his name is spelled. But any time you get Burton and Depp together, it turns out good 
Also, I can't wait for The Rum Diary to come out in which Depp once again portrays Hunter Thompson.
Also, I can't wait for The Rum Diary to come out in which Depp once again portrays Hunter Thompson. A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole....
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He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole....
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
esther:
Thanks for the comment on my set, duder!
vlo:
i finally feel better, but my son came home sick from his dad.. 
i finally feel better, but my son came home sick from his dad.. Times When the F-word Was Appropriate
People get really upset when you use the "F" word. So much so, that I can't
even write the full word out, but have to refer to it as the "F" word.
However, despite what many educators and pious people believe, there are
times when the "F" word just makes sense. And that is why we are bringing
you...
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People get really upset when you use the "F" word. So much so, that I can't
even write the full word out, but have to refer to it as the "F" word.
However, despite what many educators and pious people believe, there are
times when the "F" word just makes sense. And that is why we are bringing
you...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
sydni:
I would never kick you off. You were one of my first friends. 
The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and...
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Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
thepenismightier:
Man "The Hun" is the greatest addition to the internet since porn itself.
mothra:
Thanks, I need a laugh.
Sheep!
Fred walks into his house with a sheep tucked under his arm. He carries it upstairs and into the bedroom where his wife is in bed, reading a magazine. "Honey," says Fred, "This is the pig I've been screwing when you're not available." "Fred," the wife says, "That's not a pig. That's a sheep." "Shut up," says Fred. "I wasn't talking to you."
Minor...
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Fred walks into his house with a sheep tucked under his arm. He carries it upstairs and into the bedroom where his wife is in bed, reading a magazine. "Honey," says Fred, "This is the pig I've been screwing when you're not available." "Fred," the wife says, "That's not a pig. That's a sheep." "Shut up," says Fred. "I wasn't talking to you."
Minor...
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VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
charlize:
Always good for a laugh.
supergp:
Because I've been to events where I'm surrounded by a bunch of happy couples, and it's just not good.
A Haunted Marriage.
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old woman would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"...
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An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old woman would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
vlo:
how did u know what i got.. heehee ... thanks for the funnyjoke .. xoxox
thrasher:
We don't have the funds, with Anna starting her new job, until the 15th. If there are tickets left then we are planning on going.
I went to the first prom, so I could really go either way with it.
I went to the first prom, so I could really go either way with it.
A virgin hick!
Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were having their honeymoon in a local motel. They begin doing what honeymooners always do, but right before they consummate the marriage the woman says, "Be gentle, I'm a virgin."
The man is shocked and visibly upset and storms out of the room without saying a word. He goes home to his family and...
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Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were having their honeymoon in a local motel. They begin doing what honeymooners always do, but right before they consummate the marriage the woman says, "Be gentle, I'm a virgin."
The man is shocked and visibly upset and storms out of the room without saying a word. He goes home to his family and...
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VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
wildindigo:
How was the big party last night ? You guys seem like all of you are fun to be around....we don't have too many people around here like that....what was the decision about your car accident when you went to court the other day ??
amory:
Things have a way of working out for the best I think.