A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing a rectal exam:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas,...
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1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas,...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
thedarkness:
Comin Con and Sea World.
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.
"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally worked up the courage...
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"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally worked up the courage...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
love:
Yeah the rate of youth crime on reservations is really high. They have a crazy drug use rate too, like 11 year olds addicted to meth. It's really sad. I hope your job works out and you don't get shot at or have to shoot anyone.
ormunroe:
Eww...old people sex. 
Looking forward to the pics and many details.
Looking forward to the pics and many details.
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar...
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start having a few quiet drinks. As the night goes on, they get pretty drunk. The giraffe finally passes out near the pool tables and the man decides to go home.
As the man is leaving, he's approached by the barman who says, "Hey,...
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A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start having a few quiet drinks. As the night goes on, they get pretty drunk. The giraffe finally passes out near the pool tables and the man decides to go home.
As the man is leaving, he's approached by the barman who says, "Hey,...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
noctem:
Dude, I am so sorry about missing you guys today. I didn't mean to flake on you but I had to get that last page finished. It was about 5 by the time I wrapped it up. I called you again to see if you were still gonna be around Sunday morning, maybe meet up for breakfast or something, but if not it's cool. We'll get together sometime. Hope you all had a great time though. Late.....
annamei:
horrah for comic con! i'm sure you guys will have a nerdtastic time!
Bird Brained
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go to the bird section and Sean says to Paddy; "Dat''s Dem". The shopkeeper comes over and asks if he can help.
"Yeah, we''ll take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere", says Mick, "Put dem in a pepper bag"
The shopkeeper does as asked and the two pay for...
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Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go to the bird section and Sean says to Paddy; "Dat''s Dem". The shopkeeper comes over and asks if he can help.
"Yeah, we''ll take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere", says Mick, "Put dem in a pepper bag"
The shopkeeper does as asked and the two pay for...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
sydni:
bwahahaha! so funny!
I think that would sufficiently freak out trevallion. I'ma gunna do it!
I think that would sufficiently freak out trevallion. I'ma gunna do it!
vlo:
ARENT U COMING TO THE COMIC CON..
Male Translations
"No, really, I'm OK to drive."
--I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
"I'm not used to these darts."
--I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.
"You get this one, next round is on me."
--We won't be here long enough to get another...
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"No, really, I'm OK to drive."
--I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
"I'm not used to these darts."
--I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.
"You get this one, next round is on me."
--We won't be here long enough to get another...
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VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
sydni:
yeah, you're right.
I just get intimidated.
I just get intimidated.
deceptiviewfilm:
god thats a long one...
Smoking at Gas Station
This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught on fire.
When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.
Top Ten: Questions that Make You Go, "Huh?"
1) How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
2) What happens if you get scared to death twice?
3) If the...
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This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught on fire.
When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.
Top Ten: Questions that Make You Go, "Huh?"
1) How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
2) What happens if you get scared to death twice?
3) If the...
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VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
ormunroe:
I don't think so because his initial response was too strong to ignore. If he had responded with the "ground rules" when I brought it up the first time then I would be more inclined (making arrangements, lol). But I'm no longer comfortable because his words and my gut feeling are at odds now.
ormunroe:
If I may ask, why do you consider it one of the worst mistakes in your life?
The Love Dress
A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for John to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But...
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A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for John to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But...
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VIEW 25 of 58 COMMENTS
love:
Yay! That Avenged Sevenfold CD is one of my favorite CD's.
Have a good weekend!
Have a good weekend!
thrasher:
Arizona Mills
Milking
A Milking farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did.
When the fun was...
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A Milking farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did.
When the fun was...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
mothra:
My friend Jesse at Body Art in Mesa did it last night. He's the only person I'll go to.
annamei:
good seeing you guys again last night 
your wife is so freaking hot! ♥
your wife is so freaking hot! ♥
Throwing Stuff Down A Mineshaft
Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they came across an old mine shaft going straight down into the ground.
"Wow," said the first guy. "I wonder how deep it is?"
"I dunno," said the second.
"Let's find out." With that, he dropped a rock down the hole. They waited and waited, but didn't hear it hit bottom.
"Hmm....
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Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they came across an old mine shaft going straight down into the ground.
"Wow," said the first guy. "I wonder how deep it is?"
"I dunno," said the second.
"Let's find out." With that, he dropped a rock down the hole. They waited and waited, but didn't hear it hit bottom.
"Hmm....
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VIEW 25 of 43 COMMENTS
ms:
They fucked me, and they fucked me good.
ormunroe:
I guess I had nothing else better to say. 
Proof That Santa Doesn't Exist - For Nerds!
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of...
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
vlo:
oh the four or five times.. ????
missdates:
I love you babe!!!!
If you go to see the Longest Yard, Have fun! If you go play pool, don't have too much fun
.
I love you and miss you
If you go to see the Longest Yard, Have fun! If you go play pool, don't have too much fun
.
I love you and miss you
Why ARE Men Happier?
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water...
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Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water...
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VIEW 25 of 34 COMMENTS
ormunroe:
He'd have to go to the base hospital and get a note to be put on 'quarters' or something...I'm not entirely sure if that is the right term but then he'd get to stay home.
But right now its so busy he'd just have a buttload of work waiting on him if he did. He has 24 hour duty today and again on Friday so this week will be very tiring for him.
The baby's fever has been coming back, then I give her meds and it goes back down but if it comes back today I'm just going to take her to the doc.
I hope your family is doing better.
but then he'd get to stay home.
But right now its so busy he'd just have a buttload of work waiting on him if he did. He has 24 hour duty today and again on Friday so this week will be very tiring for him.
The baby's fever has been coming back, then I give her meds and it goes back down but if it comes back today I'm just going to take her to the doc.
I hope your family is doing better.
sydni:
how I feel today.
A little of it is from my life but alot from my twisted little brain.
But hey your more than welcome to go poking around up there to find out.