-i try not to ponder my mortality. I don't have any religious convictions to speak of, and no goal or purpose in life. I'm not particularly attached to my family, so death is an empty void that terrifies me, and the only thing I'm clinging on to is a life I don't value..... so I try not to think to much.
-reminds me of my father growing up. He was a project guy. and everything he did, he did until it was ridiculous and he burnt himself out on it. He liked fishing, he started a fishing company and held bass tournaments till he hated it. Church, became a priest, hunting, rented land and set up hunting trips, home improvement, built a den with 16ft tall vaulted ceilings and a suspended fireplace. no one goes in that room anymore, the door stays closed.
sometimes think that's a lot of where I get my failure to complete problems from. I watched my dad burn out on everything, I still start endless projects, but if I can even see the possibility of completion, I just put it away.
-I just think it's funny I'm such an optimist when it comes to others, with no faith in my self. and at the same time incredibly narcissistic.
(9:32:57 PM) uberstank: we're all such beautiful snow flakes
(9:33:22 PM) uberstank: and sometimes snowflakes become yellow snow
(9:33:33 PM) uberstank: still a snow flake though? right?
(9:34:16 PM) thegrimjester: no, just warm water then. same as the rest of the stream. we're all individuals until life pisses on us, then we conform
odd thing is, I'm actually in a rather good mood. I can't seem to keep my mind focused on school work, but I've been cleaning and rearranging my room and thinking and wanting to write and draw and play music and just create all day. I also just kinda wanted to go driving and just go till I either turned around or decided not to come back. I'm really wanting a trike more and more lately for this very reason.
Want:
