So I had some girl talking to me on myspace. The usual obvious myspace hook up approach. Which is awesome, but also, gotta watch out for the weirdos who want to drag you in the woods and fuck your asshole. Well, turns out, miss 22 year goth chick with no pictures of herself, wasn't the one talking to me.
"I want to be honest. This is my child's myspace I wanted you as a friend (the mother) I'm the blonde I'm mom and 31years old I love the hole goth (SABBAT) look I use to like live there sorry for not being honest I've never chated with anybody on myspace before. But the hole I want love thing. ME TOO. Can we maybe meet one of these days?"
I cringe at the spelling and deception. Also, stating that she is actually 31.... With a 22 year old daughter. Either you're lying to me again, or you had your kid when you were 9. Either of which I will take as reasons not to continue this discussion. As well as looking for love through myspace by hunting through your daughters page. Look for friends, or hook-ups, and maybe that will evolve into something else, but for the love of Tom, don't ask for love in a myspace message.
So that was a lovely christmas present.
Christmas spent alone in a hotel room is no christmas at all. At least I didn't have to work today, but I almost wish I could have. The two or three hours I spent laying in bed this morning "thinking" were not pleasant ones.
To much reliving of the past, and contemplation of my life and accomplishments, or lack there of. I can think of no one thing that I'm proud of. Nothing that I haven't reasoned down to menial unimportance. I can think of plenty of things that I'm ashamed of though. The lies. The choice of self over others. The times I played the victim when I was to blame. So many times for the last one, and I didn't even realize it until recently. Shifting the blame like I'm some kind of saint, or gift from the gods, and how I've martyred myself for you. It came so naturally that I believed it myself. Never mind that I let her love me, when I could barely tell you anything about her other than she was beautiful, and I wanted to sleep with her. or that I abandoned her. Or treated her differently because she grew up with more money than I did, even though I grew up with more love. Or ended it over the phone on the worst day I could have ever chosen. Or said I love you because I didn't want to be alone.
I've perpetuated this nice guy image so long.
but I'm a villain. Don't ever be confused. I don't know how to do anything that isn't for me.
This is my christmas gift to all of you. My admission of guilt. I was wrong, and have always been wrong. I'm sorry it ended that way, but be thankful that it ended. Nothing good would have come from your relations with me.
"I want to be honest. This is my child's myspace I wanted you as a friend (the mother) I'm the blonde I'm mom and 31years old I love the hole goth (SABBAT) look I use to like live there sorry for not being honest I've never chated with anybody on myspace before. But the hole I want love thing. ME TOO. Can we maybe meet one of these days?"
I cringe at the spelling and deception. Also, stating that she is actually 31.... With a 22 year old daughter. Either you're lying to me again, or you had your kid when you were 9. Either of which I will take as reasons not to continue this discussion. As well as looking for love through myspace by hunting through your daughters page. Look for friends, or hook-ups, and maybe that will evolve into something else, but for the love of Tom, don't ask for love in a myspace message.
So that was a lovely christmas present.
Christmas spent alone in a hotel room is no christmas at all. At least I didn't have to work today, but I almost wish I could have. The two or three hours I spent laying in bed this morning "thinking" were not pleasant ones.
To much reliving of the past, and contemplation of my life and accomplishments, or lack there of. I can think of no one thing that I'm proud of. Nothing that I haven't reasoned down to menial unimportance. I can think of plenty of things that I'm ashamed of though. The lies. The choice of self over others. The times I played the victim when I was to blame. So many times for the last one, and I didn't even realize it until recently. Shifting the blame like I'm some kind of saint, or gift from the gods, and how I've martyred myself for you. It came so naturally that I believed it myself. Never mind that I let her love me, when I could barely tell you anything about her other than she was beautiful, and I wanted to sleep with her. or that I abandoned her. Or treated her differently because she grew up with more money than I did, even though I grew up with more love. Or ended it over the phone on the worst day I could have ever chosen. Or said I love you because I didn't want to be alone.
I've perpetuated this nice guy image so long.
but I'm a villain. Don't ever be confused. I don't know how to do anything that isn't for me.
This is my christmas gift to all of you. My admission of guilt. I was wrong, and have always been wrong. I'm sorry it ended that way, but be thankful that it ended. Nothing good would have come from your relations with me.
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maybe I should seek help.